October 14, 2003
NOTE FROM CHRIS:
You know how some churches put up billboards
with clever quotes supposedly from God?
Usually they say something like:
* Let's meet at my house Sunday before the game.
* C'mon over and bring the kids.
* We need to talk.
Here at the First Church of TopFive, our
billboard has messages like that, too....
The Top 14 God Billboards We'd Like to See
(Part I)
14> You've been coveting again, haven't you?
13> Sure, *you're* going straight to hell, but there's still hope
for your kids.
12> Give me your money or I call your dog home.
11> Pray! You! Get onto my cloud!
10> Go back home now! Your wife's naked and Javier just pulled
into the driveway.
9> Criminy, I invented the orgasm! What else do ya want?!?
8> No, I wasn't on your team's side, you wife-beating cokehead.
7> Wanna see a miracle? Pull my finger!
6> You realize that your dead grandma watches every time you
pleasure yourself, don't you?
5> Yo, dudes, J.Lo is a false idol.
4> An honor student, eh? Well *my* son rose from the dead,
Chester.
3> Can you hear me NOW? Good!
2> That Madonna-kissing-Britney thing? My idea.
and Topfive.com's Number 1 God Billboard We'd Like to See...
1> If I'm your co-pilot, maybe you could go back and help
with the meals for the rest of this flight.
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]
[ Copyright 2003 by Chris White ]
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