Signs Your SUV Is Too Big
18> The last time you took your kids to a Monster Truck pull the
parking attendants directed you right onto the stadium racetrack.
17> When you replaced your tires Goodyear stock went up five dollars
a share for the quarter.
16> Your garage is larger than your house.
15> One of those "Oversize Load" escort trucks has to precede you
down the interstate.
14> Your kids refer to riding the bus to school as "downsizing."
13> Before go you out, you have to file for a parade permit.
12> You're the first one in your neighborhood to own a 2004
Halliburton-Rolling House S-Class twin-turbo.
11> It has its own gravitational field and has drawn a Geo Metro into orbit.
10> There are two successful Starbucks franchises located in the back.
9> It doubles as a carport for your Taurus.
8> It's great for soccer moms, since the back seat folds down into
an entire field, complete with goals.
7> You need a Sherpa and an oxygen tank to reach the driver's seat.
6> Your buddy riding shotgun is in a different time zone.
5> Mortgage payment = $2200. Texaco card payment = $2201.
3> You get a letter from Hans Blix demanding that it be dismantled
immediately because it qualifies as a WMD.
2> Due to new military intel that has narrowed the search down to
the inside of your vehicle, President Bush remains confident that
Osama Bin Laden will someday be found.
and the Number 1 Sign Your SUV Is Too Big...
1> The fuel gauge doubles as a fan.
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