Title: The Daily Humorscope
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Charles Mims's Personal Humorscope
for Sunday, October 19, 2003
"Committee--a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a
group decide that nothing can be done." -- Fred Allen
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Aries (March 21 - April 19)
This may be a good time to take up squid farming. Provided
that you can figure out what type of hat to wear, that is.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Today you will read a bit of Shakespeare, and just before
you fall asleep, you will think: "A duck, by any other name, would
smell as foul." Never mix Shakespeare and chocolate icecream. The
results can be a trifle unpredictable.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Today will be a great day for bargains. For example,
you'll find a really amazing price on a flame-thrower, at the Army
surplus store. A flame-thrower is one of those rare things that really
creates a lasting first impression -- so you should definitely get it.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Beware of rodents.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
You will discover a small flaw in your character.
Meditation and Ginseng tea might clear it up. Or if not that, then a
few gallons of cheap wine and an adventure involving a cart filled
with garbage, some gold coins, and a goat.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
If you've been wanting to become a religious leader, today
is the day to get cracking on it. Otherwise, probably an uneventful
day.
Libra (September 22 - October 22)
Someone named "Bob" is plotting to whap you with a calla
lilly. If you carry long-stemmed carnations around with you today, you
will be able to retaliate swiftly and effectively.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Today's a good day for original thinking and bursts of
creativity. Also, not a good day to wear flammable clothing.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
You will be driven into a panic today by the thought that
you will live to see music by Oingo Boingo referred to as "classic"
rock. Believe me, that's not nearly as strange as clothing trends will
be, such as the "big elbow" look.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
People will stare at you today. Unknown to you, you are
starting to look more and more like a large frog. A career in
basketball may be in your future.
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
Excellent day to study gastroenterology, or possibly to go
bowling.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Watch out for vines, today. Sometime's it's hard to tell
the difference between a vine and a creeper, until it's too late.
| [>>Charles<<]
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