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Charles Mims's Personal Humorscope
for Monday, October 20, 2003
"Don't worry about temptation--as you grow older, it starts avoiding
you." -- Old Farmer's Almanac |
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Today you will be struck by an odd thought. It will do
little actual damage, fortunately.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Once you're that far behind, there's really no way
to get caught up. You might as well do something fun instead. You can
tell them I told you it was ok.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Excellent day to make odd hand gestures at people you
don't know.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
You are about to invent a night light in the shape of a
chess piece, which you will name the "Nighty Knight." You should be
ashamed of yourself.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
You will get through the day without too much trouble
today. It would go even more smoothly, however, if you had bought that
laser cannon when you had the chance.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
You must seize the opportunity that presents itself today,
no matter what the consequences may be. Remember: opportunity knocks
but once, and absolutely refuses to ring the doorbell.
Libra (September 22 - October 22)
Good day to learn to play the tuba.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
You will discover, today, that you can whistle and hum at
the same time. This will entertain you for hours.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
You will begin a spiritual journey. The karmic chaos which
has surrounded you begins to settle into a new pattern. Also, you will
become strangely fascinated by electric juicers.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
Excellent day to come up with new theories to explain the
universe around you. Remember: the simplest explanation is usually the
best. For example, most physicists today subscribe to the "Big Band"
theory of the creation of the universe. I have an alternate theory
that I prefer, which I call "Tuba Ensemble."
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
You will vow to always tell the truth, but it will
backfire on you. Most people find that kind of behavior highly
suspicious, and more than a little deviant.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
As you are walking along, you will notice someone leaning
back in a chair. You should stop and insist that they bring their
seatback to a full upright and locked position until the captain has
turned off a sign.
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