Q.  What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A.  A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

Q.  What's a mixed feeling?
A.  When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.

Q.  What's the height of conceit?
A.  Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.

Q.  What's the definition of macho?
A.  Jogging home from your vasectomy.

Q.  Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?
A.  They spray paint X's on the back of the sheep that kick.

Q.  What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?
A.  They both like a tight seal.

Q.  What do a Christmas tree and priest have in common?
A.  Their balls are just for decoration.

Q.  What is the difference between "ooooooh"and "aaaaaaah"?
A.  About three inches.

Q.  Why do Gay men wear ribbed condoms?
A.  For traction in the mud.

Q.  How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
A.  It's not hard.

Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 pounds.

Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes.

Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?
A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.

Q.  Why do most women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds?
A.  Because most men are stupid but few are blind.

Q.  Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A.  They don't have balls to scratch

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