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A BUSY restaurant chain has found a novel way to field phone complaints from elderly customers: It's hired a parrot to answer the calls! Since June 21, Pete the parrot has been manning the complaint line for the popular Pirate's Haven eateries in Australia. "Older folks love to nitpick and call us about some perceived flaw in our service, but they got confused by our automated answering system," explains Pirate's Haven CEO Ralph Mason. "They want to complain to a live person -- and we learned from focus groups that they don't really care who it is. "So I figured that instead of wasting the time of my employees -- who'd have their ears chewed off by some old duffer jabbering about how the lettuce is too crispy or the waitresses' skirts are too short -- why not just just teach a parrot to respond with a few key phrases?" If a person calls the chain's Melbourne headquarters and presses "5" for the complaint department, their call is automatically directed to Pete. The bird listens patiently as the oldster prattles on. Whenever the person pauses, Pete utters one of 36 phrases. These include: "I'm very sorry. It won't happen again." "How can I make it up to you?" "We'll send you some coupons." Says Mason, "He's been trained to respond to certain words with particular phrases. For example, if the customer uses the term 'food poisoning,' that triggers Pete to say, 'I'm so sorry our food made you sick.' "But we've found that it really doesn't matter if what the parrot says is appropriate or not. These lonely seniors just want a sympathetic ear." Customer surveys show that most patrons feel "very satisfied" after their chats with 6-year-old Pete. But consumer advocates say the whole idea is for the birds. "When a customer has a complaint, he or she deserves a valid response from a company -- not 'Polly wants a cracker,'" declares Kathryn Hammer, director of the Australian Diners Association. |
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