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Charles Mims's Personal Humorscope
for Wednesday, November 12, 2003
"I'm not crazy...I've just been in a bad mood for 40 years" -- Shirley
McClane in Steel Magnolias |
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Today you will make the bold move from fidgeting to
twiddling. Just please be careful.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
You will write a newspaper article about the Internet
today. Why not? Everybody else has.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
You've been a little down lately, and it's time to snap
out of it! You've got to smell the roses while there's time, since
you're not going to live forever. Which is good, since you're already
seeing hair in funny places...
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
In a savage reaction against what you view as New Age
Wooly-Mindedness, you will write a best-selling book titled I'm Ok,
You're A Twerp. Later, people will often regard you as having
"defined" the current decade.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Beware of galoots, today.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Another day of social convention defiance, today. You'll
refuse to wear clothes in the "normal" fashion (if at all), and you'll
begin all your business correspondence: "My Darling Snookums:."
Libra (September 22 - October 22)
Another day of social convention defiance, today. You may
even go so far as to send a letter to Miss Manners, which begins: "Uh,
Yo:" (Well, that's how Sylvester Stallone starts all his
correspondence, right?)
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
An old flame will call today, and invite you to lunch.
It's actually a trick to try to get you involved with AmWay. Also,
check page 5 of the newspaper for something you've been waiting for.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Today will be mostly OK, except that you'll learn to pay
more attention in the future to the phrase "Careful, filling is hot!."
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
Uh oh. "Bursting into song day", again. Your friends will
avoid you.
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
Today you will learn how to tell the difference between an
octopus and a cuttlefish. Aside, that is, from the octopus' greater
problem solving capability.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
You will win 12,000 cases of peanut brittle today, on a
call-in game show. That's a LOT of peanut brittle, as it turns out.
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