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Charles Mims's Personal Humorscope
for Monday, November 24, 2003
"Worry is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do but
doesn't get you anyplace." |
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Your mind will go blank today. You won't mind -- it'll be
a refreshing change from the raging torrents of thoughts that have
been pouring through you lately. Plus, you'll get to stretch out in a
sunbeam and take a nice nap.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Try not to be too impulsive, today. Ask youself if you
really need that howitzer, or if you just think it'd be fun to
have.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Today you will lose your marbles. Fortunately, someone
will find them and return them to you.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Ah ha! You will finally have an opportunity to use
the word "plumbaginous" in casual conversation today! You will be
discussing either bicycles or aircraft, at the time.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
You will independently re-discover an old Celtic trick,
which will help considerably with an upcoming math test. In
particular, you'll find that painting yourself blue may do little for
your own mathematical abilities, but it will be a significant
distraction for everyone else.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
You will begin making strange facial expressions,
completely unconsciously, in which you push your lips out as far as
possible. Also, you will begin spending hours staring at tropical
fish.
Libra (September 22 - October 22)
Angst day, today.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
People are starting to take you a bit too seriously. Try
wearing your bunny slippers to work.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
This will be a day filled with tragically many sneezes. At
least it'll be a good opportunity to learn how to sneeze "cute."
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
You will develop a severe craving for peanut butter
cookies, today. You know -- the fresh homemade kind, that you squish
down on the cookie sheet with a fork, making a cross-hatched pattern?
They are incredibly yummy when they're still warm, like that, huh? I
don't know where your craving will come from. Possibly something you
read.
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
An apple a day will keep the doctor away. Another tip you
should consider: fresh figs can be used to avoid plumbers.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
A coworker is going to steal one of your best ideas and
claim it as his own. That's about what you should expect, though, from
a cow "orker." |
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