These
are genuine excerpts from the forms (names
removed).
1.
Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, child A was fathered by
[name removed]. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of child B,
but I believe that he was conceived on the same
night.
2.
I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being
sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide
you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this
helps.
3.
I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She
was conceived at a party [address and date given] where I had
unprotected sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex
was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father can
you send me his phone number? Thanks.
4.
I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a
BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door
panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see
if he's had it replaced.
5.
I have never had sex with a man. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope
confirming that my son's conception was immaculate and that he is Christ
risen again.
6.
I cannot tell you the name of child A's dad as he informs me that to
do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic
implications for the British economy. I am torn between doing right by you
and right by the country. Please
advise.
7.
I do not know who the father of my child was as all squaddies look the
same to me. I can confirm that he was a Royal Green Jacket.
8.
[name given] is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him can you
ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs?
9.
From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at EuroDisney maybe
it really is the Magic Kingdom.
10.
So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember for
sure is Delia Smith did a program about eggs earlier in the evening. If
I'd have stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at
[address given], mine might have remained
unfertilized.
11.
I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after all when
you eat a tin of beans you can't be sure which one made you
fart.
