|
![]() |
Charles Mims's Personal Humorscope
for Saturday, December 6, 2003
"Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?" -- Charlie
McCarthy (Edgar Bergen, 1903-1978) |
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
You will make some new friends today. One of them will be
on some sort of "sacred quest", which will make a good ice-breaker.
("So...what's with the coconuts?")
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
E-coli. It's what's for dinner!
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Today will mark the first time you've ever actually
"wrestled" a largish reptile. Although an unexpected experience, you
will find it strangely stimulating, and may decide to pursue it as a
career.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Today you will be seized with the urgent desire to buy a
harmonica, which you will take everywhere with you, on one of those
coat-hanger thingies around your neck.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Today you will get a wrong number phone call. See how long
you can keep them on the line before they figure it out. Extra points
if you can get them to tell you their height and weight!
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Beware of Doug.
Libra (September 22 - October 22)
You will be intensely jealous of a rival today. Finally,
you will realise that it isn't doing you any good to be jealous, so
you'll switch over to envy.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
You will rest peacefully, and sink into a strange dream.
In the dream, you will be playing an odd version of soccer with huge
clear balloons, and people will be cheering you on from the sidelines,
who are dressed in white formal attire. Don't go into the light, ok?
The extra point isn't worth it.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Excellent day to fly a kite shaped like a life-sized
pterodactyl. Try to get it to hover just outside someone's office
window.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
This will be a very happy week for you. And you know what
they've been saying about that for thousands of years, don't you?
"Happy Good! Me Like Happy!"
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
You will build a better mousetrap, but nobody will beat a
path to your door. Several people will beat a path to your
refrigerator, though, and will make sandwiches.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Today you will discover a little book called "1001 Names
For Your Pet." You should probably name your next pet either "Pope
John Paul" or "No Clothes On." That way you can say things like "Pope
John Paul peed on the rug, again" or "I'm going for a walk with No
Clothes On." |
The Daily Humorscope
Personal Humorscope
Subscriptions
Thanks for subscribing to the Daily Humorscope!
This prediction was generated exclusively for Charles Mims.
Please forward this Daily Humorscope to your friend Nancy, and to all your
friends and relatives who you think would like it. You may do anything you like
with your Daily Humorscope, as long as you keep this notice intact, except
resell it. Please use the Daily Humorscope content service to add it to your web
page (coming soon).
To sign up for your own personalized Daily Humorscope, or to report problems,
please visit the subscription page.
To change your email options, click here.
Copyright 2003 by Humorscope.com, All Rights Reserved
|
