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eeeeewww the evil D word ;-)
You will soon learn to fear and loath the word "diaper." Don't know why.
-------Original Message-------
Date: Monday, December 08, 2003 04:41:36 AM
Subject: [Sndbox] Daily Humorscope for Monday, December 8, 2003
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Charles Mims's Personal Humorscope
for Monday, December 8, 2003
Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.
In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist |
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Your butler will return to work today, and pretend as if nothing had happened. It's time for you to compromise, and give up those new argyles. It's for the best, in the long run.
Several people, quite independently, will tell you moose jokes today, or otherwise attempt to discuss moose with you. This is their subtle way of telling you that you're having a "bad hair day."
This week will find you explaining gender roles to the clueless. For example, men MUST continue to channel surf on the TV, no matter how interesting the show is that they stumble onto. Women must watch what shows up on the channel they're watching, no matter how boring it is. It's just how these things are done. Women commit and regret it. Men don't commit and regret it. It's in our genes. Some kind of adenine/guanine/trampoline chemical thingie.
You will soon learn to fear and loath the word "diaper." Don't know why.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
You will have a trifle too much punch at a party this week, and will amuse the other guests by flopping around on the floor an making "Ark! Ark!" sounds. But who cares? If they want to be stuffy, let 'em, I say.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Libra (September 22 - October 22)
Good day to make a call from a pay-phone in a busy place, and say (in a loud voice) "You dumped the body WHERE?."
You haven't been sleeping well, but that will soon change. You will develop the knack of falling instantly asleep whenever you want to -- either at night, or during boring meetings.
A tricky situation will arise today, but you will rise to the challenge and draw it to a satisfactory conclusion. Oddly, you will hit upon the right thing to do by suddenly recalling an old Gilligan's Island episode.
Soon you will get into accounting, "just for the thrill of it."
You will be followed by people who look suspiciously like shoe salesmen. Try to remain calm -- they can sense fear.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Money will come from an unexpected source. If you put it in a mesh bag and run it throught the washer, you'll get most of the smell out. |
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