> >   READ ALL THE WAY TO THE END-THERE'S A TRICK TO
IT.
> >
> >   Finally a Barbie I can relate to.    At long
last, here are some NEW
> >Barbie dolls to coincide with her and OUR aging
gracefully. These are a
bit
> >more realistic...
> >
> >   1. Bifocals Barbie.     Comes with her own set
of blended-lens fashion
> >frames in six wild colors (half-frames too!), neck
chain, and large-print
> >editions   of  Vogue and Martha Stewart Living.
> >
> >   2. Hot Flash Barbie.      Press Barbie's
bellybutton and watch her
face
> >turn
> >   beet red while tiny drops of perspiration appear
on her forehead.
> >   Comes with handheld fan and tiny tissues.
> >
> >   3. Facial Hair Barbie.  As Barbie's hormone
levels shift, see her
> >whiskers grow.   Available with teensy tweezers and
magnifying mirror.
> >
> >   4. Flabby Arms Barbie.     Hide Barbie's droopy
triceps with these
> >new,roomier-sleeved gowns.   Good news on the tummy
front,  two-MuMus
with
> >tummy-support panels are included.
> >
> >   5. Bunion Barbie.    Years of disco dancing in
stiletto heels have
> >definitely taken their toll on Barbie's dainty
arched feet. Soothe her
> >sores with the pumice stone and plasters, then slip
on soft terry mules.
> >
> >   6. No-More-Wrinkles Barbie.     Erase those
pesky crow's-feet and lip
> >lines
> >   with a tube of Skin Sparkle-Spackle, from
Barbie's own line of
exclusive
> >   age-blasting cosmetics.
> >
> >   7. Soccer Mom Barbie.     All that experience as
a cheerleader is
really
> >paying off as Barbie dusts off her old high school
megaphone to root for
> >Babs and Ken, Jr.    Comes with minivan in
robin-egg blue or white and
> >cooler filled with doughnut holes and fruit punch.
> >
> >   8. Mid-life Crisis Barbie. It's time to ditch
Ken. Barbie needs a
> >change,
> >   and Alonzo (her personal trainer) is just what
the doctor ordered,
along
> >with Prozac. They're hopping in her new red Miata
and heading for the
Napa
> >Valley to open a B&B.   Includes a real tape of
"Breaking Up Is Hard to
> >Do."
> >
> >   9. Divorced Barbie.     Sells for$ 199.99.  
Comes with Ken's house,
> >Ken's car, and Ken's boat.
> >
> >   10. Recovery Barbie. Too many parties have
finally caught up with the
> >   ultimate party girl. Now she does Twelve Steps
instead of dance steps.
> >Clean and  sober, she's going to meetings
religiously.   Comes with a
> >little copy of The Big Book and a six-pack of Diet
Coke.
> >
> >   11. Post-Menopausal Barbie.     This Barbie wets
her pants when she
> >sneezes, forgets where she puts things, and cries a
lot.     She is sick
> >and tired of Ken sitting on the couch watching the
tube, clicking through
> >the channels.  Comes with Depends and Kleenex. As a
bonus this year, the
> >book "Getting In Touch with Your Inner Self" is included.

=====
And now I'm glad I didn't know 
The way it all would end 
the way it all would go 
Our lives are better left to chance 
I could have missed the pain 
But I'd of had to miss the dance.

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