Title: The Daily Humorscope
|
![]() |
Charles Mims's Personal Humorscope
for Wednesday, December 10, 2003
"Early to rise and early to bed makes a male healthy and wealthy and
dead." -- James Thurber |
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
You will see an ancient symbol appearing in the whorls of
your fingerprints. That, combined with the dreams of apocalypse may
make you worry. I wouldn't though -- it's just a vitamin B12
deficiency.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Fortune will smile upon you today. Actually, it's more of
a smirk.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
You will make the startling discovery that most of the
lawyers and judges in your county have been possessed by demons. In
fact, they weren't kidding when they said that possession was nine
tenths of the law...
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
A man with a single eyebrow is following you. You haven't
borrowed any money lately, I hope?
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
You will have a nightmare tonight, in which you find
yourself dangling from the ceiling, while brightly colored paper mach�
animals with glowing eyes file into the room. One of them will be
carrying a stick. Perhaps you shouldn't eat so much candy before going
to bed?
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Excellent day to sneak.
Libra (September 22 - October 22)
Today is a good day to crash through the underbrush,
making loud snorting sounds. Beware of poachers, however.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Today you will make new friends, one of whom will
eventually borrow a large sum of money from you, prior to skipping
town. Try to avoid fatty foods.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Good time to consider capitalizing on the wave of 70's
nostalgia that is sweeping the land. Why not try making shag
carpeting? At least you should sit around in your beanbag chairs and
discuss it.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
You will be buffeted by hordes of people, who will all
simultaneously show up in your office "just to chat." Eventually, you
will make your escape by locking yourself in the bathroom.
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
Beware of Poles. Particularly dark-haired women of Polish
extraction. Due to an oddity of genetic significance, they will all be
intensely silly for a few weeks.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Today you will get very dirty. Actually, though, it will
be rather fun. |
|
_______________________________________________
Sndbox mailing list
[EMAIL PROTECTED]
http://a8.mewebdns-a8.com/mailman/listinfo/sndbox_sandboxmail.net
