December 11, 2003
The Top 15 Signs Santa's Elves
Are Suffering From Career Burn-Out
(Part II)
15> There's a two-month waiting list for Santa voodoo dolls at
the North Pole employee gift shop.
14> All of this year's rocking horses are sporting a fifth "leg."
13> They punch out Santa's lights before he even gets to the
second "ho."
12> Come Christmas morning, more than one unlucky tyke will be
unwrapping a container of brown, smelly Play-Doh.
11> All the "Sorry!" games have been repackaged as "In Your Face,
Loser!" games.
10> Rather than taking the time to master the latest technological
advances, they simply pack every PlayStation 2 box with a
Hustler and a jar of Vaseline.
9> Sewing a teddy bear is hard work. Catching a bear cub at
the North Pole is easy. You do the math.
8> Rudolph, elated at finally being invited to join in some
reindeer games, instead finds himself confronted by
shotgun-toting elves.
7> Several of them were caught on video adding real urine to
the "wet baby" dolls.
6> The See 'n Say little Allison received is teaching her that the
duck says, "Santa blows," and the cow goes, "Get lost, kid."
5> Santa's elf-prepared road trip CD for Christmas Eve?
Nothin' but "It's a Small World."
4> Five of them pitched a new show to FOX: "Elf Eye for
the Fat Guy."
3> Cigarette burns on Barbie's posterior.
2> The only reason they ride the Norelco shavers over the snow
these days is to get to a liquor store.
and Topfive.com's Number 1 Sign Santa's
Elves Are Suffering From Career Burn-Out...
1> This year the kids on the "naughty" list are receiving lumps
of koala.
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]
[ Copyright 2003 by Chris White ]
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