University of
Miami NEWS RELEASE - NEW FOOTBALL
RECRUITS
Wayfroy P. Jackson: 6'6", 215 lbs. Wide Receiver. Hottest prospect from Liberty City Projects in Miami in the last ten years. Loves music. Will demand a mini-cassette in his helmet. Holds world record for the most "you know what I�?Tm sayin�?Ts" during an interview (62 in one minute). Speech Major. Wayfroy can print his complete name. (Team Captain prospect)
Cletis Quinticious Jenkins: 6'3", 220 lbs. Running Back. Set state scoring record out of Okechobee High School. Also led the state in burglaries, but has only 9 convictions. He has been clocked at 4.2 seconds in the 40 yard dash with a 19" TV under each arm. Pre-law Major.
Roosevelt "Dude" Dansell: 6'1", 195 lbs. Running Back. Starke High cheerleader all 6 years of high school. Imitates Deon Sanders very well. Interior Design Major. Before he signed his letter of intent, he demanded Miami change colors to chartreuse and pink. Dance Major. Listed his church preference as "red brick".
Antwan Washington: 6'-8", 310 lbs. Tackle. From MLK High School in Tallahassee, FL. At 21, he's the oldest of 21 children. Mother claims Woodrow and child number 9 have same father. Has a manslaughter trial pending. Feels he will be found innocent because all witnesses have signed with Miami. On his entrance form, he listed his I.Q. as 20-20. Criminal Justice Major.
Willie "Night Train" Smith: 6'4", 225 lbs. Quarterback. Born on an Amtrack train. Lists hometown as somewhere between Sanford and Savannah. Birth certificate indicates he is 27 years old. Thinks he still meets Miami�?Ts stringent entrance requirements. Insists on wearing number 12 jersey since it matches his score on his College Entrance Exam. Majoring in Travel.
Tyrone "Python" Peoples: 6'10", 228 lbs. Wide Receiver. Has a pending paternity suit and two rape trials, but hopes none of his other 9 victims will file charges. All 9 have received Miami scholarships. Tyrone had already signed letters of intent with six other colleges, but was also willing to sign with Miami. Criminal Justice Major. Rooming with Antwan Washington because of matching I.Q.s... Hopes to do his intern work at Womens' Prison in hometown of Starke.
Abdul Hakim Muhamed: 6'10", 305 lbs. Guard. Malcom X High School. Played high school sports under several names: Sylvester LeRoy Jones, LeRoy Sylvester Jones, LeRoy Jones Sylvester and Sylvester Jones LeRoy. School sent records and tests scores on all five. Asked about Sherlock Holmes on entrance exam, Abdul wrote... "It is a housing project in Jacksonville". Doesn't know the meaning of the word "fear". (Doesn't know the meaning of many other words either.)
Note: Miami track coaches will use several of the above signees in the track program. However, instead of using a starting gun at track meets, they will be using a burglar alarm. All are majoring in Arabic Studies and Aviation technology.
Wayfroy P. Jackson: 6'6", 215 lbs. Wide Receiver. Hottest prospect from Liberty City Projects in Miami in the last ten years. Loves music. Will demand a mini-cassette in his helmet. Holds world record for the most "you know what I�?Tm sayin�?Ts" during an interview (62 in one minute). Speech Major. Wayfroy can print his complete name. (Team Captain prospect)
Cletis Quinticious Jenkins: 6'3", 220 lbs. Running Back. Set state scoring record out of Okechobee High School. Also led the state in burglaries, but has only 9 convictions. He has been clocked at 4.2 seconds in the 40 yard dash with a 19" TV under each arm. Pre-law Major.
Roosevelt "Dude" Dansell: 6'1", 195 lbs. Running Back. Starke High cheerleader all 6 years of high school. Imitates Deon Sanders very well. Interior Design Major. Before he signed his letter of intent, he demanded Miami change colors to chartreuse and pink. Dance Major. Listed his church preference as "red brick".
Antwan Washington: 6'-8", 310 lbs. Tackle. From MLK High School in Tallahassee, FL. At 21, he's the oldest of 21 children. Mother claims Woodrow and child number 9 have same father. Has a manslaughter trial pending. Feels he will be found innocent because all witnesses have signed with Miami. On his entrance form, he listed his I.Q. as 20-20. Criminal Justice Major.
Willie "Night Train" Smith: 6'4", 225 lbs. Quarterback. Born on an Amtrack train. Lists hometown as somewhere between Sanford and Savannah. Birth certificate indicates he is 27 years old. Thinks he still meets Miami�?Ts stringent entrance requirements. Insists on wearing number 12 jersey since it matches his score on his College Entrance Exam. Majoring in Travel.
Tyrone "Python" Peoples: 6'10", 228 lbs. Wide Receiver. Has a pending paternity suit and two rape trials, but hopes none of his other 9 victims will file charges. All 9 have received Miami scholarships. Tyrone had already signed letters of intent with six other colleges, but was also willing to sign with Miami. Criminal Justice Major. Rooming with Antwan Washington because of matching I.Q.s... Hopes to do his intern work at Womens' Prison in hometown of Starke.
Abdul Hakim Muhamed: 6'10", 305 lbs. Guard. Malcom X High School. Played high school sports under several names: Sylvester LeRoy Jones, LeRoy Sylvester Jones, LeRoy Jones Sylvester and Sylvester Jones LeRoy. School sent records and tests scores on all five. Asked about Sherlock Holmes on entrance exam, Abdul wrote... "It is a housing project in Jacksonville". Doesn't know the meaning of the word "fear". (Doesn't know the meaning of many other words either.)
Note: Miami track coaches will use several of the above signees in the track program. However, instead of using a starting gun at track meets, they will be using a burglar alarm. All are majoring in Arabic Studies and Aviation technology.
Charles Mims
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