Title: The Daily Humorscope
|
![]() |
Charles Mims's Personal Humorscope
for Saturday, December 13, 2003
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." -- Elanor
Roosevelt |
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Good day to begin writing that book you've been planning
-- "Growing Radishes Indoors." It's an idea whose time has come.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
You will find solace, and it won't look at all like you
expected.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Beware of celery.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Good day for political intrigue and underhanded
sneakiness. Try to wear something appropriate to the occasion.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Unbeknownst to thee, thou art over-fond of archaic terms.
Prithee, wouldst thou kindly desist?
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Today you will irritate people. In fact, you'll irritate
yourself.
Libra (September 22 - October 22)
Don't do that. Your face could get stuck that way. Oh, I'm
sorry. I hadn't realised it already did...
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
You will tell a total stranger that you're "sick and tired
of salad", today. The stranger will recoil in shock and horror.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Good day to bring an asparagus sandwich and a nice thermos
of Cream-of-Meatloaf Soup for lunch.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
If you want someone to change, it's often good to give
them a painful option and a less painful option, and let them choose
their own course. For example, "Do you want to pick up you own wet
towel, dear, or would you like to have a live weasel stapled to your
leg?"
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
You will have trouble with the telephone, in which, no
matter what number you call, you reach "Mo's Leather Emporium." Don't
take it lightly.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
You are about to leave a footprint in the sands of Time.
The editors of Time would prefer it if you'd ask permission first.
|
The Daily Humorscope
Personal Humorscope
Subscriptions
|
_______________________________________________
Sndbox mailing list
[EMAIL PROTECTED]
http://a8.mewebdns-a8.com/mailman/listinfo/sndbox_sandboxmail.net
