Title: The Daily Humorscope
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Charles Mims's Personal Humorscope
for Saturday, December 20, 2003
"Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be
lazy." -- Charlie McCarthy
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Aries (March 21 -
April 19)
Today you will be invited to go on a 3 hour boat
tour, which you think will be lots of fun. It may last longer than you
expect...
Taurus (April 20
- May 20)
Something is about to become overly intimate with
you. Intimacy can be good. Just not with fungus.
Gemini (May 21 -
June 20)
It was a simple mistake, which anyone could have
made. What's more, now you know better. I think, though, that the _expression_
is too widespread for you to actually get it changed to "never look a
gift horse in either end."
Cancer (June 21
- July 22)
This is a good time to start becoming a connosieur.
You have to take that one thing at a time, though - e.g. nobody is going to
become a wine connosier overnight. Start with something that's fun to say.
Pumpernickel, for example.
Leo (July 23 -
August 22)
A bit of investigation is called for, today. Look
for clues that seem out of place. Also, check with the man behind the
curtain.
Virgo (August 23
- September 22)
Pinch your pennies, this week. Next week: fondling
your nickels.
Libra (September
22 - October 22)
Beware of bubonic plague today. Other than that,
things will be fairly normal.
Scorpio (October 23
- November 21)
Despite protests from a variety of organizations,
you will organize a charity event called a "squid fling." Due in
part to excellent media coverage, you will be quite successful. Mostly,
though, you will succeed because nearly everyone has a secret desire to fling
a squid.
Sagittarius
(November 22 - December 21)
A very pudgy cat will annoy you, today.
Capricorn
(December 22 - January 20)
A man will be passing by when you suddenly recall a
hilarious Monty Python skit, and you'll burst out laughing. Later, you'll
notice him anxiously looking at himself in a mirror.
Aquarius
(January 21 - February 18)
Today you will be up the creek, but you will
actually have a very large number of paddles with you, due to some excellent
planning on your part.
Pisces (February
19 - March 20)
Today you'll try the old "goat in a box"
trick, on your new boss. It'll backfire, though, and you'll be the one with the clown shoes.
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