Why do doctors slap babies' butts right after they're born?
To knock the penises off the smart ones.
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young American girl, on her very first trip to Paris,
decided to test the French male's fabled expertise in
the art of love-making.
On her first date, she asked him what exactly he intended
to do with her.
"First," he replied, "I weel remove ze dress. Zen, I will
carry you to ze bed. And zen," he added triumphantly,
"I will kiss ze navel."
"Big deal !!!" she said. "I've had my navel kissed before
hundreds of times."
"Ahhhhh, but of course!" shrugged the Frenchman.
,,,,,"But... from ze inside?"
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Two women were having lunch together, and discussing the merits
of cosmetic surgery. The first woman says, "I need to be honest
with you, I'm getting a boob job."
The second woman says "Oh that's nothing, I'm thinking of having my
asshole bleached!" To which the first replies,
"Whoa I just can't picture your husband as a blonde!"
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A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after
staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar,
he walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and
began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He
immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry,. I thought
you were my wife. You look exactly like her."
"Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable asshole!" she screamed.
"That's really odd," he muttered, "You even sound exactly like her."
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What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
Charles Mims
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