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Maxine's Rules of Life
Sometimes we need to remember WHAT
the Rules of Life really are.
1. Never give yourself a haircut
after three alcoholic beverages of any kind.
2. You need only two
tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use the
WD-40. If it moves and it shouldn't, use the duct tape.
3. The
five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship are "I
apologize" and "You are right."
4. Everyone seems normal until you
get to know them.
5. When you make a mistake, make amends
immediately. It's easier to eat crow while it's still warm.
6..
The only really good advice that your mother ever gave you was: "Go! You
might meet somebody!"
7. If he/she says that you are too good for
him/her - believe them.
8. Learn to pick your battles. Ask
yourself, "Will this matter one year from now? How about one month? One
week? One day?"
9. Never pass up an opportunity to pee.
10.
If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!
11. Living well really is the best revenge. Being miserable
because of a bad or former relationship just might mean that the other
person was right about you.
12. Work is good, but it's not that
important.
13. And finally; Be really nice to your friends and
family. You never know when you are going to need them to empty your
bedpan.!!!!!!
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