January 12, 2004
The Top 15 Things Overheard on Britney Spears' Honeymoon
15> "Hurry, driver, get us back to our hotel room before she
sobers up!"
14> "Yes, it's romantic to carry me over the threshold. I'm
just saying it would be *more* romantic if your pants were
still on."
13> "Am *too* a virgin! It doesn't count when you do it
standing up."
12> "Okay, Jason, I gave it up. Now when are you gonna introduce
me to Jerry Seinfeld?"
11> "Move! Go pee in the sink; I gotta puke again!"
10> "If anyone should see any reason why these two should not
be wed -- other than their parents, their agents, their
immediate families, struggling musical artists who have
way more talent, a public that has grown tired of these
kinds of ridiculous publicity stunts and humanity-at-large
-- speak now or forever hold your peace."
9> "Hey, why is the bride on the cake dressed like a slut?"
8> "How long do you think this will last?"
"Ten."
"Ten what, honey?"
"9... 8...."
7> "You may now kiss the bride. And when Madonna's done,
the groom can have his turn."
6> "Jason, you had me at 'I'm a TopFive contributor.'"
5> "You didn't use a condom?!? Well, don't worry -- we can get
*that* mistake annulled, too."
4> "Well, we still had more sex than Liza and David Gest and
Michael and Lisa Marie combined."
3> "Hello, room service? I have a complaint: Someone has already
eaten my Pop Tart."
2> "It's not pierced; it was wired shut by my record label."
and Topfive.com's Number 1 Thing
Overheard on Britney Spears' Honeymoon...
1> "You are soooo cute. Look at you! You are absolutely
adorable. You are-- I'LL BE RIGHT OUT, JASON...
I'M IN THE BATHROOM!"
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]
[ Copyright 2004 by Chris White ]
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