January 21, 2004
NOTE FROM CHRIS:
Tomorrow, January 22, marks the first day in the
Year of the Monkey, year 4701 in the Chinese calendar.
"But Chris," you ask, "How do I properly celebrate that?"
The Top 15 Ways to Celebrate the Year of the Monkey
15> Paint butt and town red.
14> Offer a nice, big, banana-shaped object to someone you love.
13> Celebrate getting through my State of the Union address
without being distracted by shiny things.
12> Finally learn sign language so you can tell that bitch Koko
what you really think of her.
11> Get your stinking paws on a couple of damned, dirty beers!
10> Same as every Year of the Monkey: Watch the giant bunch of
crystal bananas fall in Tiananmen Square as the God of
Longevity, Dik Kwok, emcees.
9> Call Robin Williams and Ed Asner and offer to give them a
good grooming.
8> Slurp a banana daiquiri off of Paris Hilton's highly evolved
body.
7> The heck with Shakespeare -- get your friends and typewriters
together and submit some hot-monkey-love letters to
Penthouse.
6> Telephone Charlton Heston at midnight and coo, "Happy New
Year, Bright Eyes!"
5> Get spankin'!
4> 1) Marry Britney Spears. 2) Pick fleas off each other while
waiting for the annulment.
3> When at the Dairy Queen, order your banana splits with "more
grubs, less poo."
2> Party 'til you puke. Lap it up. Repeat.
and Topfive.com's Number 1 Way to
Celebrate the Year of the Monkey...
1> Tell your wife that this year it's got to be frequent, fast
and from behind.
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]
[ Copyright 2004 by Chris White ]
_______________________________________________
Sndbox mailing list
[EMAIL PROTECTED]
http://a8.mewebdns-a8.com/mailman/listinfo/sndbox_sandboxmail.net
