Posted: January 26, 2004
1:00 a.m. Eastern
Editor's note: Michael Ackley's columns may include satire and parody based on current events, and thus mix fact with fiction. He assumes informed readers will be able to tell which is which.
� 2004 WorldNetDaily.com
The Golden State's elected officials repeatedly tell us how much we need their vast experience while failing to mention they are the ones who spent California into its current financial pickle.
Even Gov. Schwarzenegger, who appears to understand the problem, is somewhat in their thrall, buying into the suggestion that an essential element in balancing the budget is a bond issue � which would be more debt, wouldn't it?
But there are some original thinkers out here, like Professor Tom Hird of California State University, Hayward.
Hird has the advantage of not being an economist. He chairs the Department of Theater and Dance, which may explain his ability to suggestive something creative.
He would have us go to the public well once again, but on a voluntary, rigidly controlled basis. But let him tell it.
"What we do not need are new laws," he says. "We need a voluntary relief plan. To keep it simple at this point, I suggest that Gov. Schwarzenegger personally ask California's taxpayers, individual and corporate, to contribute something like $20 to $30,000 each toward eliminating the immediate budget deficit created by the recent administration and legislatures.
"By suggesting everyone contribute, modest sums by those in the lowest income categories and more substantial sums by those who are more able, we could raise a sufficient amount to succeed."
He goes on to outline a high-pressure marketing campaign � including a telethon � capitalizing on the governor's star power and that of his Hollywood friends.
All this would be akin to parents telling the prodigal child, "OK, we're going to bail you out � just this once."
And Hird admits it may be na�ve of him to believe the Legislature can learn from past mistakes, but he says, "In my mind, this is a more reasonable and ethical solution than either taxes or debt."
Well, there's the rub. "Reasonable" in the capital means something different than it does in the world where folks work for a living. And "ethical"? That has been legislative terra incognita for a long, long time.
But there are a lot of reasonable people in California � a majority, in fact, if you consider the fact they threw out an arrogant, incompetent governor. That must mean there are a lot of people like Tom Hird, who is willing to contribute not only his creativity, but his fair share as well.
Yeeeeaaaahhh!
Don't count out Howard Dean just yet. The guy still has the biggest campaign war chest of all the Democratic Party's would-be presidents.
One must admit, however, that his primal scream after finishing third in the Iowa caucuses was the weirdest barbaric yawp since Walt Whitman sounded his "over the roofs of the world." It probably is the closest this nation ever has come to having a presidential candidate speak in tongues.
Sources close to the campaign tell us Dean's handlers are seriously considering an exorcism.
It really looks like it's going to come down to a wrestling match between John "Mortgage the Farm" Kerry and Wesley "Call Me Ike" Clark.
If you're trying to decide which of the two spooks you more, consider that Clark has been endorsed by the "documentary" filmmaker, Michael Moore.
Clark even has a letter from Moore posted on his official campaign website. It says, in part, "I have met Clark and spoken to him on a number of occasions, feeling him out on the issues but, more importantly, getting a sense of him as a human being."
No doubt the scurrilous Mr. Moore sensed Clark's vibes, and he says his vote for the general "will be one of conscience." And that's the only recommendation I'd need to make up my mind.
Michael P. Ackley has worked more than three decades as a journalist, the majority of that time at the Sacramento Union. His experience includes reporting, editing and writing commentary. Currently, he teaches journalism for California State University.
Sometimes I even amaze myself.- Han Solo, Empire Strikes Back
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