HEAVIEST ELEMENT DISCOVERED
A major research institution has recently
announced the discovery of the heaviest
chemical element yet known to science.The new element has been named
"Governmentium". Governmentium has 1 neutron,
12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons,
and 11 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it
an atomic mass of 312.These 312 particles are held together by
forces called morons, which are surrounded by
vast quantities of lepton-like particles
called peons.Since governmentium has no electrons, it is
inert. However, it can be detected as it
impedes every reaction with which it comes
into contact. A minute amount of
governmentium causes one reaction to take
over 4 days to complete when it would
normally take less than a second.Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to
6 years; it does not decay, but instead
undergoes a reorganization in which a portion
of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons
exchange places.In fact, governmentium's mass will actually
increase over time, since each reorganization
causes some morons to become neutrons,
forming isodopes.This characteristic of moron-promotion leads
some scientists to speculate that
governmentium is formed whenever morons reach
a certain quantity in concentration. This
hypothetical quantity is referred to as
"Critical Morass".You will know it when you see it.
A major research institution has recently
announced the discovery of the heaviest
chemical element yet known to science.The new element has been named
"Governmentium". Governmentium has 1 neutron,
12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons,
and 11 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it
an atomic mass of 312.These 312 particles are held together by
forces called morons, which are surrounded by
vast quantities of lepton-like particles
called peons.Since governmentium has no electrons, it is
inert. However, it can be detected as it
impedes every reaction with which it comes
into contact. A minute amount of
governmentium causes one reaction to take
over 4 days to complete when it would
normally take less than a second.Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to
6 years; it does not decay, but instead
undergoes a reorganization in which a portion
of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons
exchange places.In fact, governmentium's mass will actually
increase over time, since each reorganization
causes some morons to become neutrons,
forming isodopes.This characteristic of moron-promotion leads
some scientists to speculate that
governmentium is formed whenever morons reach
a certain quantity in concentration. This
hypothetical quantity is referred to as
"Critical Morass".You will know it when you see it.
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