Hi Ian, Thank you for the review.
All your comments are addressed. Please check the version available at: https://github.com/boucadair/draft-ietf-softwire-dslite-yang See inline. Cheers, Med > -----Message d'origine----- > De : Softwires [mailto:[email protected]] De la part de Ian > Farrer > Envoyé : vendredi 10 novembre 2017 10:16 > À : Softwires list > Cc : [email protected] > Objet : Re: [Softwires] Work Group Last call for draft-ietf-softwire- > dslite-yang-07 - Ends 9th Nov > > Hi, > > Here’s my review of v07 of the draft. > > Cheers, > Ian > > Overall comments: > o1. There is a lot of duplication of text between the descriptions given > in Section 2 and the YANG model’s description fields. This makes the > document less readable, and I don’t see it adds anything. > As much of the text in section 2 is taken directly from the RFCs that > originally defined the functions, it would be better to remove the section > 2 descriptions where not necessary (i.e. only described/enumerate the > important nodes in reference to how they are used/relate to other models, > and have pointers to the original RFC/section where more detail is > necessary). > Keeping the more verbose descriptions in the model make sense as these are > the ones that most users will actually see once published. [Med] Done. > > > Model comments: > m1. v6-v4-dscp-preservation - deals with whether the DCSP of the incoming > packet will be copied to the header of the outgoing packet or not. > Would this be better implemented as a feature in the model, as this would > allow the use in the mapping entry to be made conditional (with if- > feature) under the mapping-entry augment. [Med] This is better handled by adding this statement: when "/if:interfaces/if:interface/dslite-aftr:v6-v4-dscp-preservation='true'"; > > m2. Recommendation 3 of RFC7785 describes a rate limit for how often a > source address can be migrated. The model doesn’t give any way of > configuring this. Also, if there is a rate limit on the source address > change rate, a timestamp as to when the b4-ipv6-address was updated would > be useful. > [Med] Good point. Updated accordingly. > > Gramatical Comments: > Section 1 > g1. s/and adopts Network Management Datastore Architecture (NMDA)./and > adopts the Network Management Datastore Architecture (NMDA)./ > > > Section 2 > g2. s/ The tunnel MTU to avoid fragmentation/The tunnel MTU, used to avoid > fragmentation/ > > g3. The bullet point starting ‘The IPv4 DSCP marking of the IPv4 packet’ > finishes with the following sentence > ' This information can be used by the AFTR fro enforcing the poi’. Unsure > what this is meant to say. > > > Section 7 > g4. s/eraly ynagdoctors/early yangdoctors/ > > g5. s/comments/comments./ > [Med] Fixed all those. > > > > On 26. Oct 2017, at 09:09, Ian Farrer <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > Hi, > > > > The authors believe that draft-ietf-softwire-dslite-yang-07 is now ready > for advancement. This email marks the start of a 2 week work group last > call for the draft. > > > > Please send your comments, either for or against, to the softwire WG > mailing list. The WGLC will end on Nov. 9, 2017. > > > > Thanks, > > > > Yong & Ian > > _______________________________________________ > > Softwires mailing list > > [email protected] > > https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/softwires > > _______________________________________________ > Softwires mailing list > [email protected] > https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/softwires _______________________________________________ Softwires mailing list [email protected] https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/softwires
