Courageous Senators Stand Up to American People

Posted by Andy Borowitz


WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In the halls of the United States
Senate, dozens of Senators congratulated themselves today for having
what one of them called “the courage and grit to stand up to the
overwhelming wishes of the American people.”


“We kept hearing, again and again, that ninety per cent of the
American people wanted us to vote a certain way,” said Senate Minority
Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Kentucky). “Well, at the end of the day, we
decided that we weren’t going to cave in to that kind of
special-interest group.”

“It was a gut check, for sure, but we had to draw a line in the sand,”
agreed Senator Lindsey Graham (R-S. Carolina). “If we had voted the
way the American people wanted us to, it would have sent the message
that we’re here in Washington to be nothing more than their elected
representatives.”

Calling yesterday’s Senate action “a bipartisan effort,” Senator Mark
Pryor (D-Arkansas) said, “This proves that on a matter that affects
the safety of every man, woman, and child in the nation, we can reach
across the aisle to defy the interests of all of them.”

Senator McConnell agreed that yesterday’s vote “sent a powerful
message,” adding, “If the American people think that just because they
voted us into office and pay our salaries, benefits, and pensions, we
are somehow obliged to listen to them, they are sorely mistaken.”

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