Serving with the Marine air wing in early 70's, I
liked to write up "No problem found.. R&R pilot"...
Some of those young Lt's had no sense of humor.....
Donald
--- "Michael D. Porter" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
> ... automotive shops, I can sympathize with these
> guys on the ground:
>
> After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a
> gripe sheet,
> which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered
> with the
> aircraft during the flight that need repair or
> correction. The
> mechanics read and correct the problem, and then
> respond in writing
> on the lower half of the form what remedial action
> was taken, and
> the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next
> flight. Never let
> it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a
> sense of humor!
> Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints
> and problems as
> submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded
> by maintenance
> engineers.
>
> (P = the problem logged by the pilot.)
> (S = the solution and action taken by the
> mechanics.)
>
> P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
> S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
>
> P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
> S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
>
> P: Something loose in cockpit.
> S: Something tightened in cockpit.
>
> P: Dead bugs on windshield.
> S: Live bugs on back-order.
>
> P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200
> feet per minute
> descent.
> S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
>
> P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
> S: Evidence removed.
>
> P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
> S: DME volume set to more believable level.
>
> P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
> S: That's what they're there for.
>
> P: IFF inoperative.
> S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
>
> P: Suspected crack in windshield.
> S: Suspect you're right.
>
> P: Number 3 engine missing.
> S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
>
> P: Aircraft handles funny.
> S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and
> be serious.
>
> P: Target radar hums.
> S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
>
> P: Mouse in cockpit.
> S: Cat installed.
>
> P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds
> like a midget
> pounding on something with a hammer.
> S: Took hammer away from midget.
>
>
> Cheers.
>
> --
> Michael D. Porter
> Roswell, NM
>
> Never let anyone drive you crazy when you know it's
> within walking
> distance.
>
>
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