Hey $250 bucks is $250 bucks........................ ----- Original Message ----- From: "Richard Feibusch" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> To: <[email protected]>; <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>; <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>; <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>; <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>; <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>; <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>; <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>; <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> Sent: Friday, July 29, 2005 11:33 AM Subject: Auto Erotic????
> This just in from Reader Dave Barry: > > SAN FRANCISCO - A man who compared a woman's anatomy to a carburetor won an > annual contest that celebrates the worst writing in the English language. > > Dan McKay, a computer analyst at Microsoft Great Plains in Fargo, N.D., > bested thousands of entrants from North Pole, Alaska to Manchester, England > to triumph Wednesday in San Jose State University's annual Bulwer-Lytton > Fiction Contest. > > "As he stared at her ample bosom, he daydreamed of the dual Stromberg > carburetors in his vintage Triumph Spitfire," he wrote, comparing a woman's > breasts to "small knurled caps of the oil dampeners." > > The competition highlights literary achievements of the most dubious sort - > terrifyingly bad sentences that take their inspiration from minor writer > Edward George Earl Bulwer-Lytton, whose 1830 novel "Paul Clifford" began, > "It was a dark and stormy night." > > "We want writers with a little talent, but no taste," San Jose State > English Professor Scott Rice said. "And Dan's entry was just ludicrous." > > McKay was is in China and could not be reached to comment about his status > as a world-renowned wretched writer. He will receive $250. > > Rice said the challenge began as a worst paragraph contest, but judges soon > realized no one should have to wade through so much putrid prose - such as > this zinger, which took a dishonorable mention. > > "The rising sun crawled over the ridge and slithered across the hot barren > terrain into every nook and cranny like grease on a Denny's grill in the > morning rush, but only until eleven o'clock when they switch to the lunch > menu," wrote Lester Guyse, a retired fraud investigator in Portland, Ore. > > "That was the least favorite of the five I entered, but you win any way you > can," Guyse said. > > Ken Aclin, of Shreveport, La., won the Grand Panjandrum's Award for his > shocking similes and abusive use of adjectives. He wrote that India "hangs > like a wet washcloth from the towel rack of Asia." > > "I just saw that washcloth hanging in the shower and it looked like India," > he said. "I'll be doggone." *** http://www.team.net/the-local *** Your messages not reaching the list? Check out http://www.team.net/posting.html *** unsubscribe/change address requests to [EMAIL PROTECTED] or try *** http://www.team.net/cgi-bin/majorcool *** http://www.team.net/mailman/listinfo *** Archives at http://www.team.net/archive *** Edit your replies!
