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Ask Dr. Hal To Present "Monster in the Barn"
Wedesday night, 4-21
9:00pm or thereabouts
free
----> Event Description <-----------------------------------------------
A MESSAGE FROM DR. HAL "Ask Dr. Hal" To Present "Monster in the Barn" Macrocosm, Microcosm to be Explored, Will Franken to Open
This Wednesday night at the Odeon, the City By the Bay's one-of-a-kind Variety Arts
Showcase, the award-winning "Ask Dr. Hal" show will start by featuring a specially created
premium digest edition (with added sonic decorations by master editor K-Rob) of the 1957
Columbia Pictures thriller Twenty Million Miles to Earth, animated in three-dimensional stop-
motion by Ray Harryhausen. Having previously presented all of Harryhausen's short Fairy
Tales (with the exception of the recently completed "The Tortoise and the Hare," but nobody
has that one), the dinosaur sequence from Warners' The Animal World and, most recently, the
giant octopus rampage of IT Came From Beneath the Sea, the Dr. Hal show intends to follow
up (mark your calendar for April 21st) with a trenchant portrayal of the predicament of a
Sicilian farmer who discovers a maddened, ferocious lizard-ape from the planet Venus in his
barn, which, if this weren't stressful enough, is then invaded by cops, governmental officials
and a team from the U.S. Air Force, who proceed to make matters much, much worse.
Guaranteed analog, nothing digital, all hand-made. As always, narration shall be provided by
me, Dr. Howland Owll, while the music and sound effects shall be K-Rob's jurisdiction.
Expect an impassioned cry for interplanetary tolerance with the "Odeon touch." But that's
hardly all-- we'll also be presenting our version of Power of Ten, a truly psychedelic (16mm)
film which races first to the farthest edge of the cosmos, then zooms in vertiginously for an
intimate encounter with the bizarrerie of the subatomic universe.
Our Opening Act
Ladies and Gentlemen, the Ask Dr. Hal show will be opened, circa 9:30 PM, by the inspired
meta-comedy of Will Franken. Those who attended last Saturday's edition of the Chris Karney
Show, which is better than ever, were blindsided by his brilliant set. It's hard to describe; he's
certainly more than an ordinary comedian. Most remarkably of all, I know it's hard to believe,
but he's a comic performer who is actually funny-- extremely so, in fact. If this seems a bit
much to swallow, then come down and see for yourself. You'll be glad you did. Just make
sure you arrive early enough to soak up an extra half hour of the fabled Odeon experience.
Did I mention the price of admission?
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Our show is Free!
And what other show provides the spectacle of a red-hot Venusian at bay? The Ymir, as he is
called, was stolen as a tiny, radiant, gelatinous egg from his native planet, which is actually
an extremely unpleasant place, Science tells us. Hatched out on Earth, he was, in the Biblical
phrase, born unto trouble as the sparks fly upward. We will also feel sorry for the farmer and
his dog by the end of the sequence. Venus, by the way, is now at its maximum elongation,
about as close as it gets to our own world. These days it's the Evening Star, the brightest
thing in the Western sky after sunset. Coming up in June (on the 8th), the Ymir's home planet
will perform the fabled Transit of Venus, which has never been seen by a living human. The
inner planet will cross the face of the solar disc for the first time in 235 years. Then, eight
years later it'll do it again-- but that's it for another 235. The reason for this lies in a
complexity of orbital mechanics too elaborate to go into here.
The Transit was last observed by Captain Cook in Tahiti in 1769. Eight years earlier a certain
Mr. Mason (of Mason-Dixon fame) travelled to southern Africa for the same purpose. So
anyway, these days Venus is hot-- in more ways than one.
Potluck of the Gods
It's that time again, the Middle of the Month, when Katy Bell organizes the Dr. Hal Show's
Odeon Potluck. So arrive early, and bring the hot, smoking savory dishes. For the
uninformed, I'll say that this happens every mid-month. Her idea was to provide a feast that
I, a newly-declared Diabetic, could share. This means that sugars and starches won't be
served-- to me, at any rate. But bring what you'd like to share. We can watch Will Franken as
we gourmandize. I tell you, at the Odeon, the fun never stops.
�Social Notes
Last Wednesday we had a good crowd once again. In the house were Summer Burkes, recent
bridegroom John Law, Scott Nery, Louise Jarmilowicz, fashion plate Katy Bell, the Reverend
David Apocalypse, Ladybee, Don and Tracy, Larry Harvey (instigator of an obscure desert
festival), artist Al Honig (whose upcoming show, "Constructions: Robots and Beyond" will be
starting up soon in Oakland-- watch for postings), Krista Bray, the absolutely
ravishing Ring Girl who quickens pulses at the Chris Karney show, David Capurro, yo-yo
performer to the stars, Sue Ann and Sean Kelly, in disguise-- but you can't fool me. Ol' Fred
came back for more abuse, looking merely nonplussed when Chicken John hurled Fred's
crutches up onto a high shelf. Glamorous Ena kept the cordiality flowing from behind the
bar, and Chief Technician Tyler was (thank Heavens) on hand to help us with our Special
Feature.
�Night of the Octopus
The show opened with the crowd-pleasing octopodal antics of the titular tentacular star of IT
Came From Beneath the Sea; the sight of S.F.'s most famous buildings and structures being
violated by a thousand-foot-long octopus seemed to put everybody in a good mood. It
seems the Ock rocked after all. Certainly K-Rob flavored the proceedings with his usual sonic
and musical skill. John Law basked in the scenes of the destruction of the Golden Gate
Bridge. A hard act to follow? Well, folks, you'll root for the Ymir just as much. Anyway, we are
always endeavoring to make the show more entertaining-- please let us know how you like
each addition to the programme. Meanwhile, we are still offering our typical entertainment
package. Remember, a generous emolument in the envelope will produce, on request, a
"Bardic Recitation" from me, Dr. Howland Owll. And the inimitable K-Rob will, as always,
exhibit his specially crafted and customized� magic mystic pictorial hypno-collage/visual
tapestry brain-blasting video edit, with plenty of eye candy, before, during and after, to
highlight and flavor the show and his own exceptional multi-dimensional musical mementos.
How can we lose?
Some of my favorite Questions
Too much of a good thing--� I once reported that Anne Boleyn, one of the two unfortunate
wives of Henry VIII sent to die in the Tower of London, had six toes on one foot, six fingers
on one hand, and three breasts. In medical terminology the condition of having more than
two breasts is known as polymazia. I was also once asked who I thought was the luckiest
man who ever lived. Blank faces greeted my nomination of Bob Hail. His story is hardly
known, so I'll go over it again. In November, 1972, Hail, a student skydiver, jumped from his
plane and quickly discovered that neither his regular parachute nor his backup chute had
opened. Screaming all the way, he dropped 3,300 feet at a rate of 80 miles per hour, and
crashed to the ground-- on his face. A few moments after this painful landing, however, he
got to his feet and walked away with nothing worse than a broken nose and a few missing
teeth. No one has ever been able to explain how he got away with that one. After all,
according to statistics provided by the National Electronic Injury Surveillance System, in
2002, 2,560 people in the U.S. seriously injured themselves by falling out of bed. See you at
the Odeon!
Boilerplate
The "Ask Dr. Hal" show is open to all seekers of enlightenment, especially nubile females
over the currently legal drinking age of 21. Come one, come all. Every show an Adventure.
Not for the fearful, tearful, fretful, regretful and feeble-minded, nor for epileptics,
cataleptics, dyspeptics,� hysterics, young children or those easily shocked.� Easy to play. Fun,
scientific, educational. No complicated machinery to buy. Does not (usually) stain clothing.
Fun for the whole family (if, that is, the whole family is of legal drinking age). Tells the future,
casts spells, heals, sickens, knows the Meaning of Life and the secrets of human hearts in
this world and the next. Bring your parents and loved ones. A co-production of the Church of
the SubGenius. Dobbs Approved. Ameliorates the Terror of the Gods. Brought to you by�
Lucky Strike cigarettes (remember L.S.M.F.T.-- Lucky Strike Means Fine Tobacco), and by the
Miracle Liquor Fernet Branca,� proud sponsor of the Ask Dr. Hal show since 2001. All
questions become the property of Ask Dr. Hal, Hal Robins, Chicken John, and RickenChalob
Productions, which reserves the right to reject inappropriate questions (or questioners)
violently and at will. Although it is not strictly necessary to pay to enjoy the performance, and
payment will not ensure your enjoyment of the evening, all questions must be submitted in a
regulation envelope (containing a gratuity) to receive the fullest possible consideration. No
refunds given or answers guaranteed. No one religion or political party is endorsed. If you
don't see what you want, ask for it. Time tested. Preserved for Posterity.� Written up in the
weeklies. Taped for TV. Simulcast on Pirate Radio. Astrally projected. Read all instructions
before participating. Drink responsibly, but heavily. Robust alcohol consumption is
recommended. Special thanks to Pete Goldie for astronomical information provided in this
bulletin.
----> Venue Info <------------------------------------------------------
odeonbar 3223 Mission St San Francisco
www.odeonbar.com
----> Additional Info <-------------------------------------------------
[EMAIL PROTECTED] don't bother www.odeonbar.com
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