----> The Squid List <--------------------------------------------------
Ask Dr. Hal Show
Wedensday, April 28th
9:00
free
----> Event Description <-----------------------------------------------
A MESSAGE FROM DR. HAL "Ask Dr. Hal" To Present The Slushbumps" International Sensation "Kitten on the Keys" to Open
This Wednesday night at the Odeon, San Francisco's widely imitated but never duplicated
Variety Arts Showcase, the award-winning "Ask Dr. Hal" show will start by featuring a
specially created premium digest edition (edited and with added sonic decorations by
archivist master
�K-Rob) of the 1958 Amalgamated production Fiend Without a Face. Those who have actually
seen this rare black and white monster movie will know what we're up to. As for everyone
else, well... "loathsome," "disgustingly repulsive" and "sickeningly hilarious" are words that
some critics have used. Because of what we plan to show, this film has been heavily censored
and banned outright in Ireland and other countries. British censor John Trevelyan found the
picture "disgusting" and insisted on a number of cuts being made. But we like it, and are
determined to inflict K-Rob's special version (entitled "The Slushbumps") on you, our beloved
audience. Having previously presented all of� Ray Harryhausen's available short Fairy Tales,
his dinosaur sequence from Warners' The Animal World, the giant octopus histrionics of IT
Came From Beneath the Sea and the thrashing Venusian protagonist of his Twenty Million
Miles to Earth, we leave Harryhausen for the nonce but continue in the stop-motion vein with
this bizarre masterpiece (mark your calendar for April 29th) which is, really, like nothing ever
shown or attempted before or since. Take a break from slick, committee-micromanaged,
overdone computer effects. Guaranteed analog, nothing digital, all hand-made. As always,
narration shall be provided by me, Dr. Howland Owll, while the music and sound effects shall
be K-Rob's jurisdiction. Expect a nonpareil nightmare vision with the "Odeon touch."
Our Opening Act
Ladies and Gentlemen, Messieurs et Mesdames, the Ask Dr. Hal show will be opened, at 9:30
PM sharp, by the risque and risible Kitten on the Keys. Many of you may have seen her at the
Odeon before. But perhaps not many know that she has just returned from being the toast of
Paris, a veritable superstar in la belle France. There they appreciate American artists, by God.
She will be supported, in all probability, by her constant companion and fellow associate
Ward, who will add shadings to her one-of-a-kind bodacious bawdiness with his dulcet
strumming of the ukulele. So come down and see for yourself. You'll be glad you did. Just
make sure you're early enough to soak up an extra half hour of the fabled Odeon experience.
Did I mention the price of admission?�����������
Our show is Free!
And what other show provides the spectacle of... of... well, I'd better not say at this point. But
if you are averse to the spectacle of... certain apparent parts of the human nervous system
turning malevolent and flying through the air while they attack Canadian peasants and U.S.
Air Force personnel (payback for the Ymir?) exploding, bleeding and splattering... but
perhaps I say too much. Don't be too alarmed, folks, it's all in fun-- pure entertainment. The
Dr. Hal show wouldn't intentionally traumatize any of our friends, of course not. But whence
"The Slushbumps?" Well, you'll know exactly why we use that title, based on the characteristic
sounds these awful monsters make. These noises, described in The Stop-Motion Filmography
(1999) as "creepy slurping and shuffling sounds," are in K-Rob's sonic arsenal-- he's already
played them at earlier iterations of Dr. Hal. You may recognize them. And they, the critters
themselves, are really rather interesting.� The unforgettable stop-motion effects were created
not by Harryhausen this time, but by two German aristocrats, Baron Florenz von Nordhoff
and Klaus-Ludwig Ruppel. Nordhoff designed and built the creatures, while Ruppel did (most
of) the animation.In some of the shots he used a kind of prototype go-motion system,
anticipating Lucasfilm (but on a vastly lower budget) by 23 years.
�I tell you, at the Odeon, the fun never stops.
�Social Notes
What a crowd we had last Wednesday night! The usual mid-month Dr. Hal potluck was
served, and master chef Katy Bell created, among other things, an outstanding vegetable
curry. Red hot! Spicy! Delicious! Louise Jarmilowicz started the feast with her contribution of
Diabetically and dietetically correct egg-potato pie (must get that recipe). Unclear on the
concept, David Caulkins brought fudge. But that's all right-- as I've said before, it doesn't all
have to be sugarless. The idea is that there should be something for everyone, not just me
with my [EMAIL PROTECTED]&?!! "medical condition." And there was, from fresh strawberries to� exotic
cheeses. Some of this bounty was donated to the unfortunate refugees of the Headless Point
fire; which disaster had occurred a few hours before. And I'm told that later they were treated
to a spaghetti feed organized at the Ebb Tide. We wish all the best to, and better times for
Toby, Aaron, Syd, Cloe, Dan, Phil and Steve 23. Perhaps the Burning Man archons will provide
some much-needed capital to support these artists in their re-locating or re-building, who
have given so much time and labor on behalf of that festival in the high desert.�
A large house was there to enjoy Will Franken's hilarious opening act-- in addition to Will
and Karli Franken, the missus, the future married couple, Simone and David were present,
announcing their upcoming marriage on the show! Hearty Odeon congratulations-- watch
this space for more details. We also had Ed Holmes of St. Stupid's fame, award-winning
artist/sculptor Brian Goggin, acrobat Danny Starling and boyfriend Taylor (who'll perform a
piano concert at the Odeon-- really! in June), Jim Freebur, Actiongirl and Tyson, her
affianced, Entomologist/filmmaker Anna Fitch, Sean Kelly, Helena Nolan and her mom,
representing the Nolan clan, Chris Schardt, Michael Lyons, the irrepressible Zoli, Kim from
the Hush , Sheriff Wendy, Model/Domme/Pleasure Activist/Go Go Dancer Anomaly, Paul De
Jong, Hellga, Ena, Phoenix, Jenner, Pete Goldie and Sarah Szczechowicz, Sparky, Kiki, Don
and Tracy, Chris Carney show dazzler Krista Bray (who is moving to New York, a tragedy to
her many fans),� Kal Seemen, Kaosmic Kitty and master yo-yo manipulator David Capurro.
Tyler kept us afloat, as usual, while Chicken presided over the chaos of the show, his
creation. I didn't see videographer Mark McGothigan there, but he probably was, come to
think of it, since he's been to every show so far. There they all were, the glittering jewels of
S.F.'s real arts community, unknown to the dorks in charge of The City's society-page
"approved" soi-dissant "bohemian" crowd. Yes, if "the terrorists" wanted to strike at the Great
Satan again and do genuine, lasting damage to this country's true cultural resources, one
firebomb in the Odeon on Wednesday night would do it. Not, I hasten to add, that that's
likely to happen. Not on my watch. The Odeon, after all, is psychically protected by invisible
emanations of occult force. Are you listening, Osama and George?
�Night of the Ymir
As advertised, we showed an excerpt from 29 Million Miles to Earth, featuring the Venusian
Ymir and William Hopper, son of famed Tinseltown gossip columnist Hedda Hopper. And so
it goes. A bar full of people watching a poor homeless Venusian fighting the Italian
constabulary and clandestine elements of the U.S. Air Force. What we say we'll have, we
deliver. Anyway, we are always endeavoring to make the show more entertaining-- please let
us know how you like each addition to the programme. Meanwhile, we are still offering our
typical entertainment package. Remember, a generous emolument in the envelope will
produce, on request, a "Bardic Recitation" from me, Dr. Howland Owll. This time we had in its
entirety "The Highwayman" by Alfred Noyes. I won't say that I didn't, well, augment the
essential kinkiness of this famed poem a bit, in the section which describes what the soldiers
did to Bess, the landlord's black-eyed daughter. But all's fair in love and showbiz. Anyway, I
could tell the listeners liked it better than William Wordsworth's "Character of the Happy
Warrior" last time, on Octopus Night. And the inimitable K-Rob will, as always, exhibit his
specially crafted and customized� magic mystic poetic pictorial hypno-porno collage/visual
tapestry mind-munching, brain-mutating video salad, with plenty of psychedelic audio
seasoning, before, during and after, to highlight and flavor the show and his own exceptional
multi-dimensional musical mementos. We're even going to show K-Rob's special Sex and
Violence edit, created for the Chris Carney show but not seen there because of an
unexpected technical "glitch." But you'll see it here. Incredible, isn't it? How can we lose?
Some of our favorite Questions
How much does the Earth weigh? This was some joker's idea of an "unanswerable" question,
a "stumper." But the Dr. Hal show always provides an answer. Perhaps not what everyone
would deem a "right" answer, but at any rate, this one's not too hard. In fact, there are two
(or more) possible answers. The quick one is, approximately
6,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 (6 times 10 to the twenty-fourth power-- must write
this out, some versions of this posting don't feature typography which would correctly
represent the expression) kilograms. Well, that's a lot of mass. And it's more proper to talk of
mass rather than weight in this context because weight requires a gravitational field (see
below). How did they figure this out? Ask Pete Goldie. But, really, the other answer is that the
Earth, for all its bulk, for all the mass of its molten iron core, doesn't weigh anything. The
Earth is a falling body, falling into the Sun, and objects in free-fall have no weight. (Don't
worry-- this is a feature of Orbital mechanics. We're not going to fall into the Sun and be
fried. Not this Wednesday, anyway. See you at the Odeon!
Boilerplate
The "Ask Dr. Hal" show is open to all seekers after enlightenment, especially nubile females
over the currently legal drinking age of 21. Come one, come all. Every show an Adventure.
Not for the fearful, tearful, fretful, regretful and feeble-minded, nor for fanatics, theocratics,
epileptics, cataleptics, dyspeptics,� hysterics, young children or those easily shocked.� Easy to
play. Fun, scientific, educational. No complicated machinery to buy. Does not (usually) stain
clothing. Fun for the whole family (if, that is, the whole family is of legal drinking age). Tells
the future, casts spells, heals, sickens, knows the Meaning of Life and the secrets of human
hearts in this world and the next. Bring your parents and loved ones. A co-production of the
Church of the SubGenius. Dobbs Approved. Ameliorates the Terror of the Gods. Brought to
you by� Lucky Strike cigarettes (remember L.S.M.F.T.-- Lucky Strike Means Fine Tobacco),
and by the Miracle Liquor Fernet Branca,� proud sponsor of the Ask Dr. Hal show since 2001.
All questions become the property of Ask Dr. Hal, Hal Robins, Chicken John, and
Chobrickenhal Productions, which reserves the right to reject inappropriate questions (or
questioners) violently and at will. Although it is not strictly necessary to pay to enjoy the
performance, and payment will not ensure your enjoyment of the evening, all questions must
be submitted in a regulation envelope (containing a gratuity) to receive the fullest possible
consideration. No refunds given or answers guaranteed. No one religion or political party is
endorsed. If you don't see what you want, ask for it. Time tested. Preserved for Posterity.�
Written up in the weeklies. Taped for TV. Simulcast on Pirate Radio. Astrally projected. Read
all instructions before participating. Drink responsibly, but heavily. Robust alcohol
consumption is recommended. Bon Voyage, Krista.
----> Venue Info <------------------------------------------------------
odeonbar 3223 Mission St San Francisco
www.odeonbar.com
----> Additional Info <-------------------------------------------------
[EMAIL PROTECTED] www.odeonbar.com
---> The Squid List Admin <---------------------------------------------
The Squid List, a tentacle of Laughing Squid http://www.laughingsquid.org/squidlist/
To subscribe, unsubscribe or change your preferences: http://lists.laughingsquid.org/mailman/listinfo/squidlist/
Frequently Asked Questions & Submission Guidelines Squid List FAQ: http://www.laughingsquid.org/squidlist/faq.html
Online Squid List Calendar (new feature): http://laughingsquid.org/squidlist/calendar/
----> Laughing Squid <--------------------------------------------------
Laughing Squid http://www.laughingsquid.org underground art and culture from San Francisco and beyond
Laughing Squid Web Hosting http://www.laughingsquid.net discounts available for starving artists, multiple domains and non-profits
Copyright (c) 2004 Laughing Squid. All rights reserved.
