Top Ten Other Things Ben Kenobi Neglected To Tell Luke Skywalker

10. That fight in the Mos Eisley cantina was a set-up; I wanted to show off
my lightsaber skills. Got a little carried away with that poor fellow's arm,
though.

9. If you ever find yourself in the Hoth system make sure you keep an eye
out for those nasty Wampa creatures.

8. Whatever you do, don't diddle the Princess. Just trust me on this one.

7. Don't fall for Yoda's "evil cave" bit. He's been playing that same joke
on trainees for 800 years.

6. Your Aunt Beru was a pretty hot number in her day (no pun intended). She
used to leave the back door open for old Obi-Wan when Owen went into town
for supplies, if you get my drift.

5. I don't have time for the whole story now, but when you get to Dagobah,
ask Master Yoda to tell you about your dad.

4. Always wear cortosis fiber gloves when dueling with Vader. He likes to go
for the hands.

3. In addition to your father's lightsaber, I was also supposed to give you
a big hug and kiss from your Grandpa Palpatine.

2. You and Leia weren't born as twins, but triplets. The third child was a
girl we named Mara and put up for adoption. I sort of lost track of her over
the years, but the foster parents were named Jide, or Jode, or something
like that.

1. Never let that crazy Crix Madine give you a haircut. I don't care what he
tells you, he did NOT go to barber school.

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