EUROPE IN 20 EASY LESSONS: 1. Europe is not a country but rather a bunch of little countries jumbled together with sketchy borders they're always getting in fights over. (See pages on WWI and WWII) 2. Next year, a lot of the countries in Europe are going to get together on their own currency called the Euro but don't worry, it'll only be worth about 80 cents. 3. Not all European countries like each other. (See #1) 4. If Europe had a capital it would be Germany. (See #1) 5. The rest of Europe knows this and pretends its okay, but they're really nervous about it. 6. Most Europeans are closet Communists. 7. The ones that aren't closet Communists are total bleeding heart liberals who spend most of their time whining about our capital punishment policy when they're not harboring International Terrorists. 8. They call it football, but they mean soccer. 9. Most Europeans smoke like chimneys, drink really really strong coffee, bathe once a month whether they need to or not and still act like the environmental martyrs of the world. 10. Europeans liked Bill Clinton because he was amoral. 11. Europeans dislike George W. Bush because he is determined to bring dignity back to the White House. 12. If a European woman shaves her legs or armpits she is restrained in a French cave for three months and forced to grow cheese. 13. The good news: Europeans pay about twice as much for gas as we do and they don't care. 14. The bad news: they have this weird thing about clean air and water. 15. Your typical European will waste two and a half hours eating lunch if not more. 16. The whole month of August is devoted to hibernating. Nobody knows where they go. 17. The English are like Europeans only different. 18. Europeans would rather pay taxes than hunt pheasant. 19. Stubbornly, the Europeans refuse to accept we have their best interests at heart and keep wanting to have their say in things. 20. Most European leaders don't cotton to nicknames too well. You might want to wait awhile before calling Jacques Chirac, "Wacky Jacky," and Spanish Prime Minister Jose Maria Aznar, "Hoser" or "Mary." Miroslav Antic, http://www.antic.org/ STOP NOVOM SVETSKOM PORETKU ==^================================================================ EASY UNSUBSCRIBE click here: http://topica.com/u/?bUrBE8.bVKZIq Or send an email To: [EMAIL PROTECTED] This email was sent to: [email protected] T O P I C A -- Register now to manage your mail! http://www.topica.com/partner/tag02/register ==^================================================================
