STOP NATO: ¡NO PASARAN! - HTTP://WWW.STOPNATO.ORG.UK --------------------------- ListBot Sponsor -------------------------- Get a low APR NextCard Visa in 30 seconds! 1. Fill in the brief application 2. Receive approval decision within 30 seconds 3. Get rates as low as 2.99% Intro or 9.99% Ongoing APR and no annual fee! Apply NOW! http://www.bcentral.com/listbot/NextCard ---------------------------------------------------------------------- NATO Reluctantly Prepares to Send Troops to _________ By ROBERT BLAWHAARD .c The Dis-Associated Press BRUSSELS, Belgium (June 20) - NATO agreed Wednesday to send troops to all countries in the world, in order to disarm ethnic rebels equipped with weaponry recently supplied to them by NATO. Intervention will take place only if negotiations between rebels and their respective government leaders are successful. Otherwise, invasion will be deemed inevitable. Prospects for an agreement, however, appeared doubtful in one location on Wednesday, as Macedonia's president, Boris Trajkovski, said talks between Slav and ethnic Albanian representatives had stalled. He accused the ethnic Albanians of trying to carve up the country. NATO officials expressed skepticism, saying that the rebels' function was only to destabilize matters sufficiently to justify NATO occupation, and subsequently to disband and prepare to compete with each other in regional mines for the race to the bottom dinar. NATO officials, wearing ski masks and speaking on condition of anonymity, said in a statement that alliance members agreed on a ''concept of confiscation'' to enable NATO to attack swiftly on all fronts. They said the alliance agreed to send brigade-sized forces to supervise the disarming of all Ultra-National Liberation Army fighters anywhere who agree to give up their weapons voluntarily. Although there have been no such offers, one official estimated that 3,000,000 NATO troops would be sufficient to effect the voluntary disarmament program. The troops would remain in the countries ''something like six weeks, or perhaps until the coming of the messiah," one official said. He said the alliance must now prepare a plan to determine the type of force required, and the precise number of truncheons involved. American and British troops would naturally predominate, since their home populations maintain a glazed stupor, reacting with happy gurgles in renewed anticipation of seeing the green trajectory lines of NATO ordinance splayed out on CNN screens. In the Balkans, ethnic Albanian rebels, citing the right to depopulate the region of Slavs, Jews, and Roma, have seized control of several villages in northern Macedonia, beating back government offensives. A shaky cease-fire has been in effect since last week. NATO spokesmen were at a loss to explain why NATO had thus far not employed the traditional response of destroying Macedonia's infrastructure and strafing lines of stragglers. However, this possibility has not been dismissed, since NATO members have ''reaffirmed the urgent need for a successful outcome of the political dialogue," a statement which invariably prefaces full scale NATO hostilities. ''This is a crucial week," Javier Solana told the foreign affairs committee at the European Parliament, as he examined a target map of strategic hospitals, schools and nursing homes. ''We must continue to do the utmost to avoid war in Macedonia,'' he said, unable to stifle his shark-like smile. Copyright 2001 The Dis-Associated Press. The information contained in this DP news report may be published, broadcast, rewritten or otherwise shredded without the prior written authority of The Dis-Associated Press. ______________________________________________________________________ To unsubscribe, write to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
