from someone I don't know - a friend's old Marine buddy from 'Nam


Warning! This is my longest post ever. It deals with very important issues from 
my history which have formed my personal, social and political beliefs. If you 
don't have 5 or more minutes, keep scrolling through your newsfeed to look at 
pets and clever memes. If you don't care for brutal talk, don't read this. If 
explicit language offends you, it would be a good idea to fuck off right now. 
That being said, let me begin...

This month marks an anniversary for me. It made me who I am. Wait, let me go 
back a bit more...

My parents split up when I was 3 or so. Most of my earliest memories involve my 
great-granny, my mom and her little brother, my Uncle Al. We lived in lower 
class shit, but I was happy. My great-granny, my "mo-mo", spoiled me rotten as 
well as she could, as did my Uncle Al. He'd let me, a shy boy, talk on his CB 
radio for hours, earning me the handle "Bucketmouth". He once won me a teddy 
bear taller than me at the Citrus Festival. My favorite moments were when he 
played vinyl for me. He gave me all of his Monkees records, because he'd taken 
up disco. Somehow, a few Chipmonks and Disney records made their way into my 
collection. The day I remember most, however, is the day that he was crying in 
his bedroom. I asked Uncle Al if he'd play me the Disney soundtrack that I 
loved so much. He was in bad shape, dropped the needle and made it scratch. I 
remember getting mad. I remember leaving the room. I remember him finding me to 
say he was sorry. I'll always remember that I wish I'd acted better, because 
that was the last day I saw him alive.

The next time I saw him was at his viewing, after he ended his own life at the 
age of 22. I remember thinking it was a prank. I kissed him on the cheek in his 
casket really hard, hoping he would smile and let everyone know was a joke and 
that they could stop crying. My 8 year old mind didn't really comprehend death. 
It didn't work. It only made me start thinking, and I haven't stopped since.

I remember more from my early years than most are supposed to. I remember potty 
training. I remember my dad's motorcycle, as well as his truck. I remember the 
blizzard of '78 when we rode sleds off the roof of our trailer. I remember my 
mom working at the hospital on Christmas...she brought home Christmas tree 
cookies. I remember my granny Lawhorn calling me Ralphie, yet my other granny 
called me Tater, and that's what stuck. I shouldn't be able to remember this 
far back, yet I do. (Yeah, my nickname up until my teens was Tater. Shut up.)

I remember asking what happened to Uncle Al. Nobody ever wanted to talk about 
him. He was the thing we didn't speak of. Years later, I found out he was gay. 
I wanted to know what ended his life, but couldn't find out. It took me decades 
to find out a FEW details about what had gone on, but I've spent my entire life 
wondering what kind of pain and torment he'd gone through...so much that it was 
enough to bring an end to himself. My dad has opened up about it in the past 
few years, but at this point in the game, I don't wanna know, it's too late. 
I'm formed. I can't imagine what it must've been like to be a gay teen in the 
70's, but I can remember what the times were like...

7 years before I was born, interracial marriage was illegal in 17 states. I 
remember the older grown ups still grumbling about it. I remember the first 
time a black man held a white woman's hand on the front page of the Winter 
Haven News Chief, and all the remarks the grown ups made about what they'd like 
to do to him, and to her for being a "nigger lover". I remember sitting in 
front of the tv at the age of 9 and turning on the Jeffersons. My mom's 
boyfriend at the time sat down next to me, popped his beer and said, "I don't 
like nigger shows, but that guy's funny." It's a damn miracle that I didn't 
grow up racist. I often pat myself on the back when I remember that at the age 
of 13, my first show was RUN-DMC opening for the Beastie Boys. (One of the 
benefits of being a child of divorce...mom took me to the show my dad refused 
to take me to.) I spent the next few years watching as...

The movie "Jungle Fever" came out. It WAS a big deal. The old bigots got their 
panties in a wad...I didn't see what the big deal was. I officially became a 
bigot against bigots. I classified them into 3 types. Number 1...the ones who 
are just pissed because they were born. They hate everyone and everything that 
isn't like them, and always will. You can't touch them with logic or reason. 
They have a religion and a gun. (The funny thing is...they don't understand the 
terrorists they hate are just like them, but born a few thousand miles away.) 
Number 2...just plain flat-faced dumb. Small heads and all, you can't reason 
with a man who is thinking about having sex with his aunt. Number 3...the 
people raised in an environment of hate. They're not necessarily dumb, they CAN 
be smart, but it's all they've known. When "Jungle Fever" came out, they were 
pissed. But soon after, they were buying rap cds as quick as they were 
released. I believe that this is the majority of the bigots, and they CAN be 
reached. I don't believe them dumb...just too busy within their own little 
circles to see the big picture. They look to pundits and easy resources to get 
"facts" instead of actually taking the time to get facts. I don't think they 
understood how many people they were hurting when they fought against 
interracial marriage, just like the bigots of this generation who don't 
understand how many people they are hurting by opposing same sex marriage.

I've watched the wheel of civil rights turn. Nowadays, nobody really gives a 
shit about an interracial couple, unless they cut in front of them at 
Applebees. It turns still, but now, it's about same sex couples. As a straight 
white man, I could easily sit on the sidelines and enjoy what has been handed 
down to me, as far as rights go. But as I look around and see what's going 
on...I say fuck that. I'll fight until we're ALL equally miserable.

How will I fight though? I have no money, or platform, to speak of. I have a 
voice...and a social network or two. I've been told I'm mildly popular? THAT 
might help, a little. I've been told I'm funny. Shit, I've even been accused of 
being smart! If I were to apply such logic, I would jest...

'The first amendment of our Consitution guarantees the freedom of religion. The 
fight against same-sex marriage is a battle fought by Christians. Marriage was 
not created by Christians. The definitions of marriage are not applied between 
religions, and therefore are not applied to the government's definition, as the 
government acknowledges all religion, including atheism. If you oppose same-sex 
marriage because of Christianity, you oppose the first amendment. Suck eggs.'

If you're a die-hard Christian, let me ask you a question. Will God destroy 
this country over gay marriage? What happened after we decimated the Native 
Americans...was that a free pass? How about us enslaving, chaining, beating, 
raping and killing hundreds of thousands of blacks...did He let that one slide? 
How about that time that we dropped some bombs on Japan, killing well over 
200,000 innocent men, women and children...was there a "Get Out of Apocalypse" 
card I didn't hear about? Yeah, right. I'm sure God will be PISSED when we let 
Helen and Gretchen get married, after 20+ years of a monogamous relationship 
that involves no violence...

The tide of civil rights is turning again, and I'm proud to be alive to see it. 
I'm writing this because this month marks 30 years since my Uncle Al took his 
own life, almost to the day. Holy fuck, I wish he were here to see how much 
progress we've made. Then again, he might be as pissed as me to see how many 
fucktards are out in the streets waving chicken sandwiches around as a symbol 
of ignorance. (Plus, I'd likely be a snappier dresser with better personal 
hygiene.) But...

I must give some shout outs before I wrap up, it seems fitting. Mitt Romney! 
You've stated clearly that a marriage is between a man and a woman. If my Uncle 
Al were alive, you'd say he has NO rights. Fuck you. I've seen you tell a 
Vietnam combat veteran that his husband has no rights to his military benefits. 
You were riding a bike around France while he was knee deep in shit and blood, 
protecting the freedoms that YOU don't want him to have? Fuck you. Corporations 
are NOT people, my "friend". I've never dated a corporation. You are a well 
spoken leech. And Tagg Romney, you said you'd like to take a swing on Obama for 
calling your dad a liar? I'd like to see a yacht club pussy like you take a 
swing on a black guy from Chicago. I DARE you. Paul Ryan...you're eye candy for 
conservative soccer moms who aren't "satisfied" and don't have the fucking 
time, or ability, to read 50 Shades. Stick your vouchers, I'm 
sorry..."opportunities", up your ass and get a job at FOXNews, you zombie-eyed 
sociopath. And Eric Cantor of VA, Connie Mack of FL, and anyone else who voted 
against the Ledbetter Act and fought against Planned Parenthood...let me go to 
the 'FUCK YOU' store and stock up, you each deserve your own. I know you can't 
share, you call it socialism. There are 3 women in my life who have survived 
cancer directly from Planned Parenthood. One of them is my mother. Fuck you for 
standing on your platforms, waving a bible you've never opened, regurgitating 
your unit's talking points, and injecting fear and malice into a susceptible 
audience because that's all you know. You're smart enough to do better, and 
make this a better place, but you won't. I was told growing up that this 
country was founded by people who wanted to escape religious persecution. If 
they were here today, they'd be ashamed of you, because YOU are the masters of 
persecution. You are NOT patriots. You're worthless puppets, but I wish you a 
long life. I have a fantasy, in my mind, of your trembling old fingers grasping 
and dropping the tv remote, forcing you to watch the first Democratic woman 
being sworn in as president. I'll be smiling. The smile will be bigger if she's 
not white. Boing.

Well, I feel better. Whatever happens on election day, will happen. I'll sleep 
fine. I'll know that I voted for Obama, because another party vote, or a 
non-vote, is one for Romney. I'll know that I spoke my mind, lost a few friends 
along the way, but am glad to know that this social media has hurried the 
process of me losing a few douchebag "friends" I would've lost eventually. Most 
importantly, I'll know that if my Uncle Al were alive today, he'd likely be 
proud of the man I've become.

Later,
Tater

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