true hanging Head,
only one leg left, other is chewed off :( ----- Original Message ----- From: "Galbreath, Mark" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> To: "'Struts Users Mailing List'" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> Sent: Friday, October 11, 2002 9:09 AM Subject: RE: [FRIDAY] The Legacy of Bacchus > Yeah, forgot to mention the package of paper bags and suture supplies in the > tool compartment (1-bagger, 2-bagger, 3-bagger, or coyote-ugly). > > -----Original Message----- > From: Daniel Jaffa [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]] > Sent: Friday, October 11, 2002 9:04 AM > > I think that in my younger years that I was a normal on the scooter several > nights a week. > > But what you did not mention was that occasionally that Hanger-Oners some > time accompany one home which leads to WIYN (What is Your Name) and/Or WDW > (We Did What) > > > ----- Original Message ----- > From: "Galbreath, Mark" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> > To: "Struts (E-mail)" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> > > > How many times have you woken up in the morning after a hard night of > > drinking and thought 'How did I get home?' As hard as you try, you cannot > > piece together your return journey from the bar to your home. The answer > to > > this puzzle is that you used a beer scooter. The beer scooter is a > mythical > > form of transport, owned and leased out to the drunk by Bacchus the Roman > > god of wine. Bacchus has branched out since the decrease in the worship of > > the Roman pantheon and bought a large batch of these magical devices. > > > > The beer scooter works in the following fashion: The passenger reaches a > > certain level of drunkenness and the "slurring gland" begins to give off a > > pheromone. Bacchus or one of his many sub-contractors detects the > Pheromone > > and sends down a winged beer scooter. The scooter scoops up the passenger > > and deposits them in their bedroom via a trans-dimensional portal. > > > > It is not cheap to run a beer scooter franchise, so a large portion of the > > passenger's in-pocket cash is taken as payment. This generates the Second > > question after a night out 'How did I spend so much money?' Beer Scooters > > have a poor safety record and are thought to be responsible for 90% of all > > UDI (Unidentified Drinking Injuries). An undocumented feature of the beer > > scooter is the destruction of time segments during the trip. The nature of > > trans-dimensional portals dictates that time will be lost, seemingly > > unaccounted for. This generates the third question after a night out 'What > > happened?' With good intentions, Bacchus opted for the EMIT (Embarrassing > > Moments In Time) add on, that automatically removes, in descending order, > > those parts in time regretted most. Unfortunately one person's EMIT is not > > necessarily the EMIT of another and quite often lost time is regained over > a > > suitable period. > > > > Independent studies have also shown that Beer Goggles cause the scooter's > > navigation system to malfunction thus sending the passenger to the wrong > > bedroom often with horrific consequences. With recent models including a > > GPS, Bacchus made an investment in a scooter drive-thru chain specializing > > in half eaten kebabs and pizza crusts. Another question answered!! > > > > For the family man, beer scooters come equipped with flowers picked from > > other people's garden and Thump-A- Lot Boots. These boots are designed in > > such a way that no matter how quietly you tip-toe, you are sure to wake up > > your other half. Special anti-gravity springs ensure that you bump into > > every wall and the CTSGS (Coffee Table Seeking Guidance System) explains > the > > ring barked shins. > > > > The final add-in Bacchus saw fit to invest in for some scooters is TAS > > (Tobacco Absorption System). This explains how one person can apparently > get > > through 260 Marlboro Lights in a single night. > > > > PS: Don't forget the on-board heater, which allows you to get home from > the > > bar in sub-zero temperatures wearing just a t-shirt. > > -- > To unsubscribe, e-mail: <mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]> > For additional commands, e-mail: <mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]> > -- To unsubscribe, e-mail: <mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]> For additional commands, e-mail: <mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
