Things You Don't Want to Hear From Tech Support:
** "Do you have a sledgehammer or a brick handy?"
** "...that's right, not even McGyver could fix it."
** "So... what are you wearing?"
** "Duuuuuude! Bummer!"
** "Press 1 for Support. Press 2 if you're with 60 Minutes. Press 3
if you're with the FTC."
** "We can fix this, but you're gonna need a butter knife, a roll of
duct tape, and a car battery."
** "I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that."
** "In layman's terms, we call that the Hindenburg Effect."
** "Hold on a second... Mom! Timmy's hitting me!"
** "Okay, turn to page 523 in your copy of Dianetics."
** "Please hold for Mr. Gates' attorney."
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