I've decided, in the tradition of Patrick's Novel newsletter, that i'm going
to forward thest to talk2. The difference? I quite like these. If anyone
wants me to sease, just say so and i will.
----- Original Message -----
From: "DreamHost November Newslettery" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
To: "Nick G" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Sent: Tuesday, December 05, 2006 10:43 PM
Subject: DreamHost Newsletter v8.11 November 2006
0. Introduction.
1. Media.dreamhost.com!
2. Google Checkout!
3. Adsense on DreamBook!
4. FREE Hosting For Non-Profits, Forever!
5. DHSOTM!
########################################################################
0. Introduction.
You knew it had to happen sooner or later. The DreamHost November could
not be denied. I did my best to spare you all. I held off as long as I
could. But the need to bore is too strong in this one. IT COULD NOT BE
DENIED!
I even tried my best to spare everybody from a blog post for a full
month, but eventually gave in. It's a completely crass attempt to get
a little Christmas gift for ourselves from everybody's favorite public
internet company, Google. A gift of say, $190,000,000 or so.
You can help it work! And at the same time, cement your reputation as
Mr/Mrs-So-Cool-I-Used-DreamHost-BEFORE-Google-Took-Over-And-Turned-Em-
To-Crap by reading the post and clicking the "DIGG IT!" to turn the
"rumor" to "reality."
http://blog.dreamhost.com/2006/12/05/i-want-some-of-that-action/
You can also just stop reading this newsletter now, because that blog
post PRETTY much covers it, but with pretty pictures and an awesome
video I took last night of a raccoon who looked like my wife.
########################################################################
1. Media.dreamhost.com!
Yes, I do think she looks a lot like a raccoon. But not one of those
weird Japanese raccoons with the huge testicles. A nice, normal, U.S.A.
raccoon with boobs.
And I've got the video to prove it! And I've even got the Flash embedded
media player to show it! And, I've even got the Flash embedded image-
rotator to show it if it were a slide show instead of FULL MOTION VIDEO!
https://media.dreamhost.com/
Go there and you'll see what the HECK I'm talking about! It's a way to
put your OWN videos up on your OWN site in your OWN flash player, sans
third party logos and linking! And yet still very easy to use. How DO
we do it?
Anyway, you don't need no STEENKING YouTube anymore if you're a
DreamHost customer!
At least until Google buys us. Then we'll probably make you use YouTube.
And use Google Checkout to pay us. And put Adsense on all your sites.
And give you free catered lunches every day. And a billion dollars.
Twice.
########################################################################
2. Google Checkout!
Last time I checked, Google hasn't bought us. But that doesn't mean we
can't make Google PAY.
So, now we accept Google Checkout just like we accept PayPal, regular
old credit cards, checks, and money orders for your HAPPY hosting bills.
Why would you use Google Checkout? Because you love Google. Hadn't you
thought of that? And I think we don't pay any credit card processing
fees until January if you do. So think of all that extra money you're
making us, which we can spend on more bandwidth, disk, servers, power,
cooling, employees, rewards, and blow.
All at the TINY expense of giving even more of your personal information
to the Google Hive Mind Grid Borg Super Computer Mesh Matrix Cluster.
Please?
https://panel.dreamhost.com/?tree=billing.payment
(You'll only see the Google Checkout option if you actually owe money..)
########################################################################
3. Adsense on DreamBook!
Speaking of making Google PAY.. we decided to try putting Adsense on
DreamBook, because for Jack's sake that one ad with Jack's face on it
sure wasn't driving a zillion people over to DreamHost.
Well, we're taking in about $50 a day, baby! Pretty sweet. So, why did I
put this in the newsletter? Geesh, I dunno, does everything have a
reason? Maybe there's no such thing as destiny. Or fate. Or Google. I
just THOUGH you guys might be interested. Does everything I write HAVE
TO HAVE A POINT? DOES IT HAVE TO BE FUNNY?
http://www.dreambook.com/
Is our still-awesome-ever-since-1998 free guest book service I'm sure
you already knew about. And DreamHost customers can even turn that ads
non-sense off! Why do we allow that? I guess we're just feeling
charitable for the holidays!
########################################################################
4. FREE Hosting For Non-Profits, Forever!
Speaking of charitable for the holidays, we've just changed our non-
profit discount policy.
http://wiki.dreamhost.com/index.php/Non-profit_Discount
(Niiiice segue, Jones! Thanks, Josh! No problem, you rock. No, you do.)
We used to give you half off any hosting plan as a non-profit, forever.
Well, we decided to change all that. If you're a US-based 501(c)(3) non-
profit, you now get a COMPLETELY FREE Strictly Business plan, NSA (_not_
the sex type of NSA), FOREVER!!! ! ! ! !
Spontaneous outburst of outrageous generosity? Cynical ploy, carefully
calculated to generate a bigger tax deduction? YOU BE THE JUDGE.
Don't worry, non-profits already getting half off... all your plans have
already been upgraded to Strictly Business and set to be free forever!
And even if you're not a non-profit, you can still get in the holiday
spirit by donating to one of the current DreamHost charities via:
https://panel.dreamhost.com/?tree=home.charity
So far we've got 20 donations for a total of $445.24 to Santa's Helpers
and 24 donations for $552.20 to DefectiveByDesign.org. These charities
will be up until the end of the year but we're going to pay out the
Santa one early (in time for holiday) so ya better watch out, you better
not shout, you better act fast if you want your cash matched, DreamyHost
is running out of time...
########################################################################
5. DHSOTM!
And as long as I'm still charitying along, look who just HAPPENED to win
the DreamHost site of the Month contest for November:
https://darfurwall.org/
It's a non-profit who wasn't taking advantage of our discount so I just
moved them over to Strictly Business and made it free. But enough about
me. That site is pretty cool.. they're trying to raise $400,000 for the
situation in Darfur, and they're doing it with a nifty little Flash-free
site (which ALMOST disqualified them) with a bunch of numbers which
reminds me of the holocaust memorial in Boston or the Vietnam memorial
in DC or the print out of the typing-in-the-numbers log in Lost.
https://panel.dreamhost.com/?tree=home.dhsotm
Is where you go if you have a site that could even come CLOSE to that
one and you want the world's citizens (or at least like a dozen of them)
to hear about it sometime in this old email newsletter thang.
########################################################################
And to all a good night,
Josh Jones!
Is this the last we'll ever speak? It can be!
https://panel.dreamhost.com/id/?tab=contact
Did you miss a message? Well, don't.
http://www.mail-archive.com/talk2%40andrelouis.com/
has it for you. Never miss a Talk2 message again.
