Hey:
That was pretty amusing I must say.
----- Original Message -----
From: derek Lane
To: talk2
Sent: Tuesday, June 12, 2007 10:40 AM
Subject: Re: The Talk2 List With All Due Respect, I Choose Not To Go F***
Myself |
Fair enough.
That was cool, none the less.
----- Original Message -----
From: Thomas (TJ) Olsen
To: talk2
Sent: Tuesday, June 12, 2007 10:30 AM
Subject: Re: The Talk2 List With All Due Respect, I Choose Not To Go F***
Myself |
;Oh right i was a bad dude, thats acredited to the Onion
fun little news paper
tj
----- Original Message -----
From: derek Lane
To: talk2
Sent: Tuesday, June 12, 2007 10:13 AM
Subject: Re: The Talk2 List With All Due Respect, I Choose Not To Go F***
Myself |
Wow, that was rather funny I must say.
Did you send that to someone as a response, write it as the result of
being bored, or find that somewhere?
----- Original Message -----
From: Thomas (TJ) Olsen
To: talk2
Sent: Tuesday, June 12, 2007 9:46 AM
Subject: The Talk2 List With All Due Respect, I Choose Not To Go F***
Myself |
With All Due Respect, I Choose Not To Go Fuck Myself |
Sir. Sir. Sir! Now that you have, I dare say, made your opinion on this
matter more than abundantly clear, might I finally be afforded the opportunity
to
respond? Thank you. You have spoken eloquently, and I do appreciate
your directness and candor. However, after due consideration of your most
adamant proposal,
I regret to inform you that I will neither be going nor fucking myself,
not now and not in the foreseeable future.
I say this knowing full well the extent to which your proposal
concerning the fucking of myself was emphasized, both with hand gestures and
the raising
of your voice beyond that of civil conversation, and despite the
evident urgency which moved you to repeat the recommendation seven times in
rapid succession.
As much as I, a gentleman, would like to accommodate you, I am
nonetheless afraid that I must reject your suggestion out of hand. I find it
flatly untenable.
And though I appreciate the concern manifest in your statement
regarding the use to which I might put my bottom, I do not consider the option
of fucking
myself-with a broomstick, sideways, as I believe you specified-to be a
course of action worthy of my pursuit.
In fact, at the risk of sounding impolitic, your manner and phrasing
have caused me to doubt whether you have my best interests in mind. Indeed,
sir, given
the hostility and lack of propriety with which your suggestion was
brought to my attention, I think that the case could easily be made that,
conversely,
you should be the one to go and fuck yourself.
Perhaps you might wish to proceed with that undertaking by employing
the aforementioned broomstick in the sideways manner you were so kind as to
prescribe
earlier.
Oh, you don't appreciate that suggestion? Cheerfully retracted, then.
Perhaps it is fair to say that we have reached something of an impasse on this
fucking-of-oneself
matter, and that we should agree to disagree, as it were, and move
along to some of the other actions that you, in the short time we have known
each other,
have suggested that I undertake. Such as your idea that it might be
advantageous for me to fuck my mother.
Let us, for argument's sake, suppose that my mother were still among
the living. Even then, the prospect of engaging in sexual intercourse with her
nonetheless
raises within me a whole host of repulsive associations which, I feel
utterly confident in saying, even after intense rumination on the subject, it
would
not be within my power to overcome.
I daresay that the obverse action, of fucking your mother in my own
mother's stead, however, leaves me no such compunctions and is an undertaking I
am more
than willing to commit to at this time.
If the character and comportment of the issue of her womb is any
indication, I cannot help but assume that obtaining your mother's consent for
such an act-including
the oral and anal penetration which your remarks so clearly
describe-would be an easy matter.
Trust me when I say to you that I have listened to and duly considered
everything you have said to me. But in all frankness, I can nonetheless assure
you
that I will most certainly not be eating a bag of dicks or shoving it
up or blowing it out-whatever "it" might be, as you have left that crucial
pronoun
tragically without antecedent-my ass.
In fact, after all of this dialogue, there's only one conclusion I have
reached that I'm even remotely certain is true: You're a goddamned motherfucking
cocksucker.
Good day, sir!
