Was that captivating? Was it as useful as a cabbage patch in heat? Was it
I ask you, as tasteless as a dead monotonic piano tuner falling from the
boxes of Latzish? I figured you'd say yes, no, yes. OR perhaps yes, no,
no. Or perhaps no, yes, yes. Or if you're really mad, yes, yes, yes!
It's all subjective however. It doesn't even matter in the grand scheme of
things. what matters is that I'm bored. It's Friday evening, this list is
deader than a mouse in a mouse-trap that's been left for 30 years and 30
months, my old 233 server that ended up in a chute some months ago, and
thus it is boring.
This has to change. I don't know who will change it besides myself, but
someone, somewhere, somehow, has to do something. It's that important. If
nobody does, then what will the world think? Probably not much as it won't
care, but it will come to get you. And it will come to take you away and
you will never be heard from, or of, again. Would you like that? do you
know the subsequent dangers of such a thing? I live in a country where 50
HZ prevails. How many on this list also live in a country where 50 HZ
prevails? there are a lot of you where the good old 60 takes precedence
but not I might add, here.
Also, what percentage of people are within the 5 FT to 6 FT range? All
questions I have wondered about but never been bothered to actually find
out. How many are below it, and how many above? There are some very scary
and tall people out there you know, and I know some of them. There are
equally some very small and short, just as scary people out there you know,
and my sister is one of them. However she's too young to answer the
question posed above. That doesn't mean she doesn't qualify or anything,
but that's just the way it is.
FAAAAAAAAAAArt!!!
Do excuse me, I did have to let that one out. Also, Maria isn't here to
tell me off about it, so I figured why not? Now when you read this
message, you all get to smell it instead. Isn't that just wonderful?
OK. I will all tell you a secret. I hate, and I do mean really, really,
really dislike intensely, smelling the food of others. I mention this
right now, simply because what I smell is making me hungrier than an
Ethiopian that just walked across the searing desert, because it doesn't
just smell good, it smells damn fantastic! Do you understand that feeling?
Having the smell coming through your open window, and being unable in no
way at all, to do anything about it, other than to close that window, and
thus lose the feeling of freshness you've attempted to cultivate in your
house all day?
Well if you do understand me, then understand this. The smell is special.
It smells as if someone..... made me pick up the phone, lose my train of
thought, and then run after it down the track and catch it, pummel it to
death, jump on the back end of it, smother it in wibbage and carry on.
So about this food then. It smells as if it were made especially for me.
all food in all the world is made especially for me, you know? It is. you
don't believe me I think. Oh well, never mind. The food that was made for
me that I can't eat, smells like it would taste like the best meal this
side of Sunday, when my mother, who does cook especially for me, oh, and
Maria, cooks dinner. Then on top of that, the wind blows the smell of the
food in here, so much so that I believe if I stuck my tongue out, I could
taste it. Taste it I tell you! It's that good.
Maybe some pork, with a hint of garlic, perhaps a little mushroom,
marinated in a little wine, or perhaps olive oil, and I just don't even
want to think about it! It makes me want to order food from the Indian
place but I have no money. I do have a card however. I never thought of
that. Only problem is that Maria wouldn't like it, because she's not here
to oovle in the food I could buy. Had she been here to oovle in the food I
could buy, then I would probably buy it. As it is, I shall have to satisfy
myself with the freezer. That could prove perhaps dangerous to my nether
regions yes, some of you did already think of it before I did, so I shall
simply rephrase and say, satisfy my hunger with content found in my
freezer. I think that is better.
I'm leaving now, because I've been writing this email for some considerable
length of time and it has no longer got a point to it, though I'm not
altogether sure that it ever did have. Are you?
MR Andre P. Louis
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