DON'T LET THIS HAPPEN TO YOU!!!
You haven't been LURKING in this group have you? OH DEAR!! Haven't you
ever
wondered why lurkers are seldom heard from again after they have been
removed from a group for non-participation? I tell ya, the truth can be a
scary SCARY thing!! Don't let this happen to you........
Read on to discover the horrors and dangers of being a lurker!
Susan was found to be lurking in a group, she hadn't shared a thing for
months and disregarded the notices from the group mods & owners. After
she
was removed from the group... The very same afternoon... She was walking
down the sidewalk when her panties got in a bunch. As she struggled to
free
herself from the merciless wedgy she was enduring, the elastic waistband
snapped causing her skivvies to fall down around her ankles! She wobbled
a
couple of steps and tripped over her underpants and fell face first into
a
fresh pile of elephant poo left behind from a passing traveling circus!
The
elephant poo acted like an oil slick sending Susan skidding out of
control
with her drawers flailing around her ankles until she plopped down an
open
manhole cover and was flushed out to sea never to be heard from again!
Ron was once a lurker too. He was a mild mannered midget from New Guinea.
He
too ignored the notices of participation from the group owners & mods.
After
being booted from the group, he mysteriously went missing for years!
Three
years later, his shrunken head was found on a bobble head figurine at a
trinket shop near the Mexican border! His head was then returned to his
family with 20 Pesos and a bottle of Jose Cuervo!
John was also a lurker who ignored the owners and mods. One day on his
walk
home from a long night at his job as the local bingo caller, he was
assaulted by a troupe of angry nuns! They pelted him with bingo chips
until
he learned to share stats and email jokes with others online. To this
day,
John still has a nervous twitch and freaks out every time he hears an old
woman shout "BINGO!" causing him to fall to the floor and cower in the
fetal
position under his desk! His therapist also states he has an unusual
phobia
to penguins now as a result!
Fred too befell a similar fate as the rest for lurking in groups. He had
belonged to a fantasy group but had not shared a thing with anyone in
weeks
and frequently neglected to answer his emails. After he was unsubbed from
the group, he was sitting at his kitchen table grumbling to himself over
a
bowl of Lucky Charms cereal. When suddenly his underpants were invaded
and
overtaken by leprechauns! The clever little gnomes magically made off
with
his "family jewels" and Fred then spent the rest of his days chasing
rainbows in the hopes of one day recovering his long lost "Mr. Winky &
the
boys". He eventually went insane from an incurable case of phantom jock
itch!
Lastly, there is the story of Claudia. A simple and quiet secretary from
Idaho who was very much concerned with her appearance. She could often be
found sitting in front of her web cam using it to watch herself apply
mascara and lip stick instead of snagging and sharing like a good group
member ought to. After she found herself banned from her favorite group
for
neglecting to participate she became terribly distraught and developed
severe abdominal pains! She was diagnosed with acute appendicitis and was
rushed to a local hospital. Unfortunately the doctor's handwriting was so
poor that the surgeon misread it and instead of removing her appendix, he
formed a large penis on her face in place of her nose! She can now be
found
working as the aardvark woman in a popular freak show in Albania!
We won't even discuss what happens when she sneezes!
DON'T LET TRAGEDIES SUCH AS THIS BEFALL YOU!!! PARTICIPATE IN YOUR
GROUPS!..........
SHARE SHARE SHARE!
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