This is why it takes a village...
How do these people survive?

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ONE Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have 
an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
"We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter. "You 
don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I
can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's right." So I 
shook my head and ordered six McNuggets

TWO I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady 
behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those
"dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things 
so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items,
she picked up the "divider", looking it all over for the bar code so she could 
scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know how much
this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that 
today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue
to what had just happened.

THREE A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and 
pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she
said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card 
number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."

FOUR I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do you 
need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the 
to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they 
(pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?"
"Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just this remote 
thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key
and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and 
check about the batteries. It's a long walk."

FIVE Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she 
was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper.
What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her. With 
that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the
photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.

SIX I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was towed 
into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the
whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister." I asked the manager 
what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the "cruise control"
and then went in the back to make a sandwich.

SEVEN My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a 
large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with
their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch 
banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of my 
Do you guys have a fire downtown?"

EIGHT Police in Radnor , Pa , interrogated a suspect by placing a metal 
colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The 
"He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each 
time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie
detector" was working, the suspect confessed.

NINE A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take 
her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The dispatcher tells
her to give the kid some Benadryl and it should be fine, the mother says, I 
just gave him some ant killer..... Dispatcher: Rush him in to emergency room!
Life is tough.
It's tougher if you're stupid

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"Music is a moral law- it gives wings to the mind, A soul to the universe, 
Flight to the imagination, A charm to sadness, A life to everything." - Plato
Amy Billman
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