Igor says:  "I was told that many men trying tango drop it because they think 
"tango istoo feminine".

Dear Igor not too long ago I was surprised to read in one of your notes that 
you believed that there are no gender roles in tango.

I do not wish to re-start a hot discussion of tango gender roles but I am not 
surprised that you are encountering such problems as the ones by you described.

I do not care if you (or anybody) likes to lead or follow or change roles back 
and forth, I do not care if men dance with men and women dance with women, if 
women lead or men follow.  This is a free society and anybody should be able to 
do whatever he likes, but...paradoxically enough IMO, tango is universally 
accepted and cultivated precisely because in this dance the man is the man and 
woman is the woman.  

This is the way we name the members of the dancing couple. We do not use the 
words leader or follower. We use the words Man and Woman.  If I wish to follow 
I will say - " I will be the woman" (not the follower).

The man "marca", "LLeva", (directs takes the woman to places), the woman 
"sigue" (follows him).

He is masculine, poised, somewhat arrogant, he knows he is in charge, he feels 
the music, decides to make an artistic interpretation and leads the woman, he 
protects her, he is attentive to avoid collisions. He has intense, deep 
communication with her, respects her and gives her time to express herself.

She is feminine, applies her chest against his, like the bird that seeks refuge 
in his nest, she is attentive to his requests and proposals, she follows the 
best that she can, convinced that he is in charge, she is protected and has 
nothing to be afraid of. She surrenders to the embrace and he does the same. 

Both work in total harmony and create together a beautiful tango. 

The music stops, they remain together for a few seconds and then break apart. 

If you teach that there are no gender roles in tango it is natural that many 
males are going to feel awkward dancing such variation of the dance.    

You have to remember that your real character or spiritual persona comes out 
when you dance tango, as the dance is an expression of your personality.  Those 
that have strong masculine or feminine traits are going to show them while they 
dance.   Males won't be able to hide their feminine components and women will 
not be able to hide their masculine ones either.

So my advise to you is teach tango as it was originally conceived: a dance with 
definite gender roles.

In my experience men and women apppreciate that aspect of the dance which is 
present in most dances anyways.

Then allow each persona irrespective of their physical gender to adopt the role 
that they wish to play at the moment.

Respectfully, Sergio
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