In Buenos Aires when a woman does not want to dance, or dance with a certain man who rudely will stand near her and stare, or is coming her way to stare, the woman will start to chat with her friends. Another one of our boring codigos for many of you, but it is considered rude to ask anyone to dance who is in conversation. (re; Daniel Trenner) This is why when I am with people visiting for the first time, I do not look at them when we are talking, so that I can be asked to dance. I let them know that if they are talking, a man will not invite them to dance. If for whatever reason I do not want to dance, then I talk, talk, talk, so no one will invite me.
As for attitude. When I lived in California, I always danced with whoever asked me. I always had a big smile on my face. Being a slave to fashion, I always dressed nice. I knew how difficult it was for guys just learning, to ask someone to dance. I would watch women who really did not dance all that well, put on the attitude. Then they wondered why no one ever asked them to dance. They would sit there and complain about the lack of dancers and how none of the men danced that well. They were all waiting for those 1 or 2 dancers who met their specifications to ask them. I preferred to enjoy my time. I asked guys to dance. The majority would admit they were too shy to ask. I never noticed it impeding them from asking again, quite the contrary. It is all a matter of how it is done. I remember once a woman running on to the dance floor to snag my partner before the tanda even ended. That is a big No-No....Others would come up to interrupt a conversation, others would just come and grab the guy and say let's go dance. Do they have to wonder why those guys never asked them to dance again? Flash forward here to Buenos Aires. One post said that we woman can invite here in Buenos Aires as well. Nooooo. Maybe to a foreigner it seems that way. In the milonga, the man is King. We women make jokes about it all the time. A fat, unattractive guy who you would never give the time of day to in the street, in the milonga suddenly becomes a King because he can dance. He knows that. Oh yes he does. With many more women than men, he can dance with who he wants. Just because he danced with you before, doesn't mean he will dance with you tonight, no matter how much he enjoyed that dance he had with you before. You need to earn that dance again. _______________________________________________ Tango-L mailing list [email protected] http://mailman.mit.edu/mailman/listinfo/tango-l
