had to think about this a bit. it is interesting how everyone see's what's
"right" so differently.
first, i love the let the "non switchers" dance in a corner idea. it's their
choice to "not switch", so that is a great solution. sometimes we would be
happy in a closet, "leave us alone, let us dance" i think its also a great idea
to make sure that they get back in line for the "long" dances. so they learn
floor craft. and i say that as an often non-switcher.
i will essentially conceed the point that switching makes you a "better
dancer", and if being fred or ginger is your goal, then the answer is SWITCH.
but what if you just want "quality time"? and don't really care to dance with
anyone else? how is a class affected by non-switchers? they are their own
"problem", if they don't progress, that's "their problem", "you can lead a
horse to water..., and all that". besides, they do not in anyway affect the
Leader Follower balance, they are a "wash", and add bodies and energy to a
class.
i have always considered "wifeing up" (not switching) to be a black or white
thing. you either "wife up" and dance with NO ONE ELSE or you switch, and "take
what comes". in other kinds classes that i teach, i would NEVER accept anyone
showing disrespect to any member of the class, i would consider that
"disrespectful" to the system, and i would take that VERY SERIOUSLY. if there
is a real issue with an individual, then the instructor needs to "do something"
(and i know how sensitive, tense and gut wrenching this can be). if i could
pick and choose in class, i would have what my wife calls a "harem", the
followers i like to dance with, and only dance with them. in my mind, that is
not how it works. wife up, or dance the line.
our instructors have been very patient with us. we have come to an unwritten
set of terms. first in basic classes, i always dance with everyone, i love the
smile on a new followers face when they "get it", and strive to make sure that
everyone has "the best experience that they can". if there are non-switchers, i
will try really hard to work with them so they at least will dance with an
instructor (or senior student) once in a while. (all of this is absolutely part
of the "pay forward" and "back" debt of a student to their system). in advanced
classes, the instructors let us "wife up" if "we need to", although, if they
think that i am missing something, they will split us up while someone 2X4's
me. i go for that, as long as i "know" i can wife back up when i am "adjusted".
i will do what ever the instructor says, but, they respect that sometimes we
are gonna "wife up", and they usually leave us alone then.
at dances and in classes, i try really hard to make sure that every follower
who wants to dance, dances. again, part of the "pay forward", "pay back" part
of the deal. or that my wife dances with the "lost looking" leaders, same "best
experience rule applies".
sort of off thread, i have been amazed that so many people only want to only
"dance with other people", doesnt anyone else like to dance with their spouse
(or regular partner) and get this dance "dialed in" together. i love dancing
with my wife. we are like a world class dressage horse and rider team, i think
it, she does it. when i think stupid stuff, she fixes it. we crack each other
up, and save each others disasters, if she starts to fall i hold her up, if i
get off balance she props me up. our moments dancing and learning together are
"golden moments". while we are figuring stuff out at practicas and at home, we
are really "one", and in this together. how much better does the "emotion and
attitude of tango" get? remember everyone has different reasons for dancing
tango.
dance on
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