Several years ago, somebody wrote on the list that you shouldn´t take photos or videos at milongas because some people don´t want to be seen with partners they aren´t married to. I thought this was strange but then the Argentine culture is different from the American culture.
An Argentine man, who was in the States for three years and spoke good English (better than my Spanish) told me: "I have a wife. I have a lover. I can´t take on any more women." I don´t remember how it came up in conversation because I wouldn´t think of asking. But based on his comment, the previous listing now makes sense. I just wonder where the man´s wife and lover are while he is dancing. Couples who have a private relationship and want to keep it private, enter the milonga separately and sit separately. They will not dance two consecutive tandas, which is common in the States. They will dance with other dancers before they return to each other. Why? The Argentines have behavior codes. One of them is not to dance with somebody else´s life partner. Men don´t use cabeceo with a woman sitting at a table with another man. If the Argentines think that two people are a couple, men won´t ask and women won´t accept an invitation. Cabeceo problem: Two men and a woman It´s not first come, first served. If the woman isn´t standing when you are in her proximity, start wondering if she accepted your invitation. If you see another man closing in, start wondering if you came in second place. I´ve been told that men will go to the men´s room if they came in second. But sometimes, the men´s room is in the opposite direction. Cabeceo problem: Two women and a man I´ve seen both women run back to their tables in embarrassment, sometimes letting out a shriek which only calls attention to the miscommunication. The man has to be quick to go after the woman he wanted to dance because it will look terrible for him. To ask one woman to dance, get two, and dance with NONE, that´s embarrassing, though regardless of size of ego, nobody seems to die from it. I´ll be posting a review of the milongas Í´ve attended and I hope others do the same. Dropping names of milongas, e.g. Canning, Sunderland, Almagro really doesn´t help. Back to line of dance If I was the only foreigner who was involved in collisions, I wouldn´t post to the list because it would advertise my poor dancing skills. When I see Argentines have collisions, well, that´s a different story. To clarify about my Gricel listing. I commented only on the difficulty of getting out from my table and meeting the woman on the floor. The host Thursday night was very pleasant and spoke English when I said ¨Soy Norteamericano. Espanol no esta prima idioma." (I´m a north American. Spanish isn´t my primary language.) I´ve gotten some private nasty messages, which I´ve decided to ignore. (One message came from an American who lives in BA. She used to live in the Bay Area in California, and has been banned from Tango L.). If you want to say I´m wrong, then you should publicly post and offer your personal experience instead of complaining about my dance skills. I took weekly, private lessons for 8 years and have been dancing for AT for about 11 years. I wouldn´t think of coming here unless I was confident of my skills. Dancing at Denver and Atlanta Tango Festivals was a test. Dancing at small dance floors in New York was a test. I´m not somebody who has 2 years of experience before coming to BA. But if you don´t believe me, COME HERE FOR YOURSELF! Reporting from Buenos Aires Michael Ditkoff Washington, DC -- I'd rather be dancing Argentine Tango _______________________________________________ Tango-L mailing list [email protected] http://mailman.mit.edu/mailman/listinfo/tango-l
