Patricia: Absolutely correct about women saying "no." However, it's difficult for the man to know if she's saying "no" because of his dancing or she just doesn't like the man and will never dance with him, even if he was as good as Copes.
Women can't have it both ways. Don't dance with somebody you don't like and then complain. Every woman has to answer the question "Is BAD tango better than NO tango?" Michael I danced Argentine Tango --with the Argentines ----- Original Message ----- From: "Patricia Katz" <[email protected]> Subject: [Tango-L] Cabeceo & SAYING "NO" "A woman who is good also needs to understand that she will have a big effect in influencing the quality of the men's dancing in her community. If she expects them to come up to her standard. If she doesn't lower her own. She needs to be the muse. If she wants to help the men in the community improve their dance, she needs to learn to say "no". > How can a woman who is "good" indicate in a polite way to a leader who is not as "good" that she won't dance with him now, but in time as he improves she will? I see many leaders with very good potential stay at a level that is below their ability; these leaders don't take workshops or privates when very good teachers are in town. It seems most women will dance with them, even the very " good" women and then these women complain about these leaders lack of navigation, embrace, not listening to the music etc. These leaders feel that because they are very rarely refused there is no need to improve; these followers feel that if they refuse then they won't dance and it seems they would prefer to dance with a poor leader than sit out for a number of tandas. A few of the so-called better leaders in our community use the walking cabeceo or sitting cabaceo which is generally well-received by those followers who understand what the cabeceo is all about. > _______________________________________________ Tango-L mailing list [email protected] http://mailman.mit.edu/mailman/listinfo/tango-l
