Well, Mario, that's certainly a perspective we haven't covered in depth on this
list, have we?
I actually agree with you, with the exception of what happens between really
good friends. Most men I know would prefer to ask, in part, I'm sure, because
women are usually terrible at accepting rejection when they are the ones
asking. They'll pout, look discouraged, might raise a fit, whereas a man
receiving a refusal will just smile and reassure a woman that her decision is
fine. I also want to specify "really good friends". There's a difference
between friends at a milonga and friends you allow into your life.
Personally, I prefer that the man ask me to dance, particularly if the man is
really musically sensitive and a good dancer. It gives me a sense that he'll
give it his all. More likely to get a dance that is "memorable" than "okay".
So what happens if there's a particular type of music I'd prefer for dancing
with a man? I simply make myself more or less available for being asked. I
like to at least give him the illusion that he picked the music. ;-)
It's easier if I'm deejaying (hence, I will almost always say yes to the DJ
whether he cabeceo's or asks verbally). If I'm not deejaying and the DJ is
pretty good, then there's usually a flow that I can follow to pick my partners.
If the DJ is bad, well, it's harder to get the right dances period.
If I ask a man to dance, I hope it conveys my confidence in his dance (since
I'm known as musically sensitive). I do like it when men indicate that they're
hoping to dance milonga/Di Sarli/Biagi etc. or whatever with me. I see it as
giving me permission to ask them to dance for those tandas.
I've noticed that women will tend to zero in on certain guys when milongas or
alternative tandas are played, probably because they are fewer good dancers and
those tandas are not played as often as tango. Guys who really love milonga or
alternative will narrow their field considerably, as well. When I see this
happen, at least I know that people are developing some musical sensitivity,
even if it's on a limited basis.
What do other ladies prefer?
Trini de Pittsburgh
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