I went to the MIT Monday practica in Cambridge, Massachusetts this week. After my NYC meh experience, I'd been doing a lot of thinking. What struck me most while sitting in NY is how asymmetric the situation is for men and women in a community that doesn't use cabeceo, if you're being conservative and observing the tradition that men do the asking.
The men can just walk up and ask anyone to dance, while the women are doomed to sit. And sit. And sit. The situation may be very different for the established members of the community who are spectacular dancers, but for the visiting or average woman, it's unpleasant. So at MIT, I had a wholly different strategy. I spent the evening at the start of every tanda going over to a man, sitting down next to him, saying, "Hi, do you come here regularly?" and then, regardless of his answer, saying, "I'm visiting from Maine (pause) My name's Sharon." Usually at this point, or after a very few more pleasantries, he would ask me to dance. Excellent. A milonga tanda came down, and almost everyone was sitting down. Uh-oh. No-one tonight likes milonga. The first man I tried hated milonga so much he even hates hearing it. Everyone else was sitting in a s row with no empty seats. One woman was standing, moving to the music. So I went over: "Hi, you look like someone who would like to milonga. Would you like to dance? I can lead.". She said yes. Hooray. Then for the next tanda, another woman came rushing over and asked if I'd lead her. That was fun. _______________________________________________ Tango-L mailing list [email protected] http://mailman.mit.edu/mailman/listinfo/tango-l
