Hello all,
Just decided to share this with you;-)
-------8<--------
The European Commission have just announced an agreement whereby
English will be the official language of the EU, rather than German, which was
the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's government
conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has
accepted a five year phase in plan that would be known as "EuroEnglish".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil
servants jump for joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k". This
should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will make words like
"fotograf" 20% shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments
will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent
to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"s in the
language is disgraseful, and they should go away.
By the 4th year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z"
and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"
and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After
zis fifz year, vi vil hav a realy sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or
difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand each ozer.
ZE DREAM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!
-----------8<----------
P.S. I _like_ it!
--
SY, Alex
(St.Petersburg, Russia)
http://mph.phys.spbu.ru/~akiselev
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