Sorry this is so late, I just noticed your post. Have you looked into pnp4nagios?
It pulls the perfdata from your check results into an RRD database and then uses RRD to graph the results. Pretty customizable, I'm not an RRD/php guy but I managed to get IOPS/latency reports per volume and as an aggregate from our storage etc.
This does not address the "am I cool, hot or ON FIRE!!!" but it does let you as an admin go in later and look to see "hey look, these 3 web servers hung up when the database went down even though they are supposed to be orthogonal. It also makes cyclic stuff easy to spot (high utilization on the 3rd Tuesday of every month).
It should work with any "Nagios" based system - you basically send your check results to a perl script.
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