They are unbelievably common in Florida wherever there is sand, and due to global warming they and fire ants have made it all the way up to Tennessee. First you have to catch the diller. I say catch rather than shoot because you don't want to mess up the built in soup bowl. The simplest way to catch them is just to place a large double ended trap in the middle of their trail with a short section of garden fencing on either side to steer them in the right direction. No bait is needed. Best of all, after the trap has once held a diller it is prescented to encourage others. Once you have one in the trap shoot it in the head with a 22. Don't shoot it until you are ready to skin it because once rigor mortis sets in the whole thing becomes much more difficult. Remember, your diller has never taken a bath and may be carrying leprosy, so I recommend rubber gloves, a good brush, and a liberal application of chlorox based kitchen cleanser while the diller bathes in a wheelbarrow. Now for the hard part. Every part of the outside of a diller is unbelievably tough, and that includes the belly skin which you must remove. The problem is that the diller is shaped like a football and won't hold still even after it is dead which greatly increases the chance that you will cut off several of your fingers in the process. You will need loppers to cut off the head, feet, and part of the tail, a short razor sharp knife, and pliers. Be careful not to injure the shell in any way. The diller remains in it's shell until dinner is complete. I have set up a pro diller skinning station which consists of an upright stump, on the top of which I have nailed two short strips of 2x4 about five inches apart so the upturned diller will stay in one place. Then I drill four small holes in the edge of the shell next to the four legs. These provide anchor points so that I can use ratcheting straps to stretch out the diller much as on a medieval torture rack. Then the interrogation begins. The dillers can't move, so they invariably admit to being Jews. Then begins the laborious process of cutting off the belly skin. Be sure to avoid the anal glands, and try not to cut into the bladder or peritoneum. As with people, the females are more tender and juicy than the males. What would you rather eat, me, or a thirteen year old corn fed trailer girl from Iowa who spends all day on a couch watching TV? Use the loppers again to cut through the sternum and pelvis, then pull out the guts and chuck them into your neighbor's yard. Hose out all the blood and diller shit, then you are ready to BBQ! You could freeze it but fresh is best! Thickly crust all exposed flesh with garlic salt and chili powder. Then place the diller upside down in a baking pan and slow cook over a wood fire for about four hours. I always use a roofing tin tent to keep in the smoke. The diller will stew in its own juices which is why it is essential not to damage the shell. If you follow these instructions you will have the best meal of your entire life. The meat just inside the shell is the best of all. The only thing on earth tastier than a diller is a gibnut, also known as a tepesquintle, but that is a story for another day. Sleazeweazel In a message dated 6/7/2012 11:39:57 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, freddiepoe...@yahoo.com writes:
They got them there dillers in Florida? When I cooked 'em it took two butcher knives and a can opener to clean 'em right. Maybe they grow 'em softer in Florida.
